Best Worst Pep Talk Ever

Seriously, this is how I feel. But despite the significant lack of social life and huge influx of all-nighters, I still managed to pick up some dating insight along the way. Therefore, I give you: The best worst pep talk ever.

About 2 weeks ago I called one of my friends for a favor and next thing I know I'm getting a dating pep talk - which is exactly what we all need the week before finals...? I'm not gonna lie, the delivery was terrible, but I was magically able to navigate my way through it and glean some truths. It's honestly been very influential over the past few weeks, and I'm exceptionally grateful for the person who gave it to me. Below you will find excerpts of the talk, immediately followed by my interpretation of each principle. These are direct quotes from an actual phone conversation.

1. "Next thing you know you're realizing another one of God's children doesn't love you" 

Translation: Dating is naturally going to come with rejection. However, rejection is better than never knowing because it is the only way to move forward. Sitting around in fear that someone might not share your feelings is just making you more discouraged, so get up, face your fears and get rejected so you can move on and find the person who will love you.

2. "Put all your eggs in one basket, and the next day you're watching 'em float down the river" - 

Translation: Options are a good thing. Putting too much stock in one situation is basically the express lane to disappointment. Obviously this is not an excuse to play the field, and options should be limited to your emotional capacity - the deeper the commitment, the more "eggs" in the basket. Flirting is the process of collecting baskets. If they stick around, try adding an egg. The process of placing an (note the singularity of the article here) egg in a basket can be likened to dating, and as the commitment to one person grows, slowly remove eggs from other baskets to put into that basket. Otherwise, keep your eggs to yourself until you've moved into the dating phase.

3. "If you breed a thousand rabbits expecting to sell them as food, you'll just end up alone with a lot of rabbits" 

Translation: If you spend your time idealizing a person and the potential for your future happiness, you may end up either a.) psyching yourself out so much that you never even act, or b.) becoming sorely disappointed when the person doesn't live up to your expectations. Therefore, moving quickly towards actual dates gives you the knowledge you need to decide if this relationship is something you want to continue to pursue.

4. "You'll just be sitting on the sidelines watching people who are no braver than you, happily in relationships" 

Translation: Happy relationships don't happen to the pretty/skinny/funny/successful people, they happen to people who are willing to push themselves out of their comfort zones. Love comes from risk. Sometimes it ends in failure - in some of our cases it seems to always end in failure - but if we keep pushing ourselves just a little more each day, in everything that we do, success is inevitable.

Men.

I remember once asking "At what age do boys become men?" Since that time, I've realized that the transition from Boy to Man is not determined by the amount of years, but by experiences. And it is by these experiences that each boy is then presented with what I like to call "Man Cards." Man Cards are more like an expansion pack than a deck, with varying themes which can be mixed and matched to create a full hand. Theoretical packs may include, but are not limited to:

• The Handy Man: Great at fixing all car/household needs
• The Ladies Man: Knows his role in all courting formalities
• The Business Man: Strives to build a life of stability for his loved ones
• The Family Man: Prioritizes life with wife and children at the top.
• The Man in Charge: Decisive and confident, yet yielding and humble. 

Now, of course, each pack comes with various cards, which - when tasks are accomplished, or habits or lifestyles created - are given to said boy/man. The expansion pack which I would like to discuss in depth today, is what I would like to call: The Ultimate Man.

Over Thanksgiving I was pleasantly surprised to learn that my brother (who, in my mind, is still 17), has been rapidly collecting his man cards. Part of this I attribute to my father, the manliest man I know, and the other part I attribute to his prosthetic leg (pictured right). About 4 years ago my brother was in a traumatic accident which took 6 inches of his left leg. For any 21 yr old, this could be a pretty traumatic experience, but Alex fought hard to overcome all the emotional and physical aspects of his injury. Today, most people don't even know there's anything wrong until the first time he slams his shin on tool box without wincing. Throughout his experiences he's adopted the mantra "I am not handicapped" which is not limited to physicality. My brother refuses to be handicapped in any area of his life. If something needs to be done, he does it, with no excuses.

Alex is also the epitome of a "Protector." He will make sure all of your needs are taken care of, and he takes his responsibility as provider very seriously. He is not above making you breakfast in bed, telling you he loves you, or listening to you cry, because he knows that's what you need. However, on the opposite end of the spectrum, he is also going to protect you in every way possible: finding food, fixing your car, providing shelter, and threatening to bash in the heads of careless boys who demolish your heart. In a few short years of life, he's realized that being a man is about accepting responsibility, not projecting it on others.

It was a little startling to realize my little brother was all grown up, but more than anything it was eye-opening to realize that the characteristics he encompasses are the characteristics I look for in the men that I date. There are plenty of Man Cards that are nice to have around (i.e. The Oil Change, Successful Job, Orders His Date's Food, etc...), but the ones that I feel are pivotal in my "Am I going to date this guy" process, come from The Ultimate Man category. They are learned traits of a man who is comfortable enough in his manhood, to strive for traits that could be perceived as less manly. While confidence, decisiveness, and a dash of "Cro-Magnon" mentality can be initially very attractive, it's exceptionally comforting to know that your man can be humble, meek, and "easy to be entreated."

Just let it go...

I used to think unrequited love was the worst thing imaginable. I've since proven myself wrong. Self-forbidden love is far worse. Attraction is a principle that I don't think I'll ever understand. Why is Susie attracted to Billy when Billy's attracted to Janie? Better yet, why are Bill and Mary attracted to each other when Bill likes to drink beer and Mary wants to be married in the temple? I have no idea. Here is where I would like to add the disclaimer that I am, by no means, listening to Dashboard and screaming at the heavens while slashing at my wrists. I'm actually quite far from that place. This here post is simply a step back from years of mutual attraction between me and men I shouldn't date, to look at what has come of all of it. And here's what I've gleaned:

Sacrifice for future progression.

In the past, I tried really hard to make each of these situations work. Sarah meets Boy and thinks he's attractive, but carries on with life. One day Boy makes a move and Sarah remembers that sometimes boys like her. Mutual interest is born. Sarah and Boy know that it's unfair to try to make relationship work, but Sarah remains secretly hopeful and falls anyway. Hard. Followed by pain. The end.

However, this last time around, I've realized a couple things:
1. I love Jesus
2. I want family built on a solid Gospel foundation
3. In order to have a Christ-centered home, I must have a Christ-centered husband.

And for some reason, despite facts 1 & 2, I cannot find a freakin #3. For some unknown reason I'm not typically attracted to LDS guys, and for probably the same reason, they're not really attracted to me. It's strange, I know, but true. So this last time, instead of throwing myself emotionally into a trainwreck of the heart, I've decided to sacrifice what I want right now, for what I really want - an eternal family.

It's probably one of the most torturous thing I've ever done to myself. But, I know that sometimes the Lord is already handing us the blessings we want, but we are way to occupied with the mediocrity we happen to be clinging to. Let's hope this is the case.....or else....

Just kidding. When I typed "Just let it go" into Google this is what came up. How could I say no to the Angel of Death? Look how cute he is...see what I mean? Always attracted to the dark ones.

Chocolate or Vanilla?

So I've been thinking....about dating. It's a lot like food.

I really love brussel sprouts. I also really love sushi, broccoli, eggplant, dark chocolate, squash in all its varieties, chicken hearts, olives, mushrooms....the list goes on.

But I really detest Jello. Hate it. I mean seriously....look:

In nature bright colors = poisonous

Agh! .....oh......oh ew...

Why is this bedded in arugala!?

This recipe exists. I own the cookbook.
(Not funny mom.)

It's milky....and white....with colored chunks?

And if it's not disgusting enough by itself....

But I digress....

I also don't like french fries, maraschino cherries, coffee flavoring, mint in my chocolate, bleu cheese, salmon, and in general I'm EXTREMELY selective about my hamburgers.

Now, this isn't about my tastebuds, so stop being outraged. Just because I don't like those things doesn't mean that they're bad (Except Jello). And just because I like the other things, doesn't mean that they're good, it just means I like them. It's a matter of preference.

Dating is the same. It's all a matter of preference. I like tall guys with dark hair. I also like them super confident, slightly sassy, and exceptionally smart, cause let's face it...I need to be put in my place :) However, this doesn't mean that nobody ever likes smaller, quiet, shy guys. In fact, it doesn't mean that I don't like them. It just means that I prefer the other one. It's what I'm attracted to. But, just like my tastebuds, I can change over time. Sometimes even if I'm not initially attracted to a guy, he grows on me and my preference changes, and sometimes it doesn't. 

So people, what I'm trying to say is: when I say that I want the vanilla ice cream instead of the chocolate, it's not because the chocolate sucks (we all know that's not true). It's because I prefer it. And when the cute boy I like decides to go for the younger, more petite, lots of eyeliner girl, it's not because she's better than me, it's because she's different, and that different happens to be his vanilla. 

To the Boys

And boys you shall remain until you can follow these simple rules of engagement (no pun intended).

This weekend I went on a double date. And while it was completely out of the blue and extremely thrown together last minute, it was the best date of my life. Why you ask?

                                           

Midnight Capture the Flag with Nerf Guns

How could that be more awesome!? That's right, it can't.

And this superbly fantastic date got me thinking about some things. So here we go. Boys, pay close attention.

Dating do: Spontaneity. Last minute is cute, endearing, fun and really exciting. Especially for someone like me who has their life completely mapped out to the minute. I welcome distractions.

However, let me tell you about the experience I had the following day:

 Boy is texting me and asks what I'm doing that night. I tell him I'm going to the Bee's game and he says "You should ditch it and come on a date with me." I figure I could be persuaded, so I ask him what we're gonna do and he responds with "Eat food. Whatever you like doing."

What!? No.

Dating don't: Do not play the "ball is in your court" game. When it comes to planning dates, keep the ball. The ball is yours, do not pass it! Remember that you're wooing us. Your job is to make me feel special. My job is to laugh a lot, look/smell really good, continuously touch your elbow/knee/hand, lick my lips and look at you longingly until you want to kiss me. See, the dating game is more like football than tennis. Let's break it down to make sure we all understand:

We start off with our passing game:
You see girl and smile: the ball has been passed
She smiles: She's passed it back!
You approach girl and begin talking:
*Ball is passed back and forth as conversation ensues....*
You ask for her number: Passed the ball
She gives you her number: She passes it back


You now have the ball. Don't give it up. We've moved to the running game: no lateral passes, no fumbling. You are the running back. You cling to that ball like it is your child and you run with it until you cannot run anymore. Now that you've planned the date and she's accepted, we're back to the passing game:

You pick her up: Ball passed
She flirts and is a quality date the entire time....
*important, she still has the ball*
At some point, either vocally or via text, she thanks you and openly encourages a second date: Ball passed back to you.

You now have the ball and we're back to the running game. Now, if you choose, run with it until you can't run anymore.

Women want to feel special. We want to feel like you thought about us. You'll notice that both instances were last minute, in fact, Date #1 had much less time to plan than Date #2 did, but the difference is that he made a decision, and there is something absolutely sexy about a man who makes decisions. It shows confidence. Had Date #2 responded with something like "Don't worry about it, I'll make it worth it. How about 7:00?" I would've laughed, shaken my head and said "Ok :)" (See how I did that with the texting smiley? That's a good sign.)

So what have we learned here? 

1. Girls want to feel special
2. Girls expect boys to make decisions
3. Until boys start making decisions, they will remain boys.

Please direct any hatemail to sarah@boysshouldmakemoredecisions.com and have a great day! :)

I Like Boys.

The other day I had two interesting experiences. Both with close guy friends.

Experience 1:

Me: "In 25 years I have been asked out, actually asked on a date, twice. How does that not make me feel unattractive?"
Friend 1: *Stares in space trying to think of the right thing to say*
I could see his gears working real hard so I just waited patiently. After an extended silence...
Friend 1: Yeah, this is where guys and girls are different.....*shrugs* just don't feel that way.
Me: Yeah......that doesn't work.

Experience 2: Discussing a past relationship

Friend 2: She's the one who distanced herself from me, and that was hard, but now that I'm over her she's being all weird and interested in my life again...
Me: Well, girls have to go through a process. After a breakup they have to distance themselves because we're naturally optimistic creatures and if any semblance of hope remains, she'll just always hold onto it. So we have to vilify you in our minds so that the optimism dies. But once that process is complete she needs to come back to make sure it's really dead. Now that's the tricky part because inevitably feelings come back, and, especially if she's lonely, she may try to talk herself back into it, but ultimately what she wants is closure, it's just going to take her a minute to talk herself into actually letting the door close.
Friend 2: *laughing* What!? .....Girls are weird.

And never has a truer statement been made. We are so weird!!! We're so weird we don't even understand us. It's like freaking Wheel of Fortune in our heads all day long. But instead of varying amounts of money, they're emotions. And the wheel is spun by hormones. Sometimes you get 3 R's at 1,000 bucks a piece, and life is good. And sometimes you hit Bankrupt.

Sometimes I wonder why God made us like this. Especially when men are such simple creatures. With such a distinct difference how have people been getting married all these years!? How do boys even like us with all our complications? Personally, I see nothing attractive about women. We're small and we're always freezing. We shed all over the place, and as I've mentioned, we're pretty needy and emotionally complicated. Who wants that?

Men on the other hand, they got all sorts of good stuff going for them. They're all sorts of warm and comfy. There's nothing better than being the little spoon...am I right? When you're with them you feel all safe and cozy, plus because of their lack of emotion, you get to just throw yours out and they make it all better by just holding you. And regardless of the fact that they can be kinda smelly sometimes, the stuff that they use to cover it up is amazing!!! It just makes you wanna snuggle more.

However, when I talk to my guy friends, they feel the exact opposite. They think of all these really great things about girls...things I can't even remember. So I guess the reason the Lord made us like this is because we're complimentary. And eternally I feel like our purpose is to balance each other out.

The best example I have of this is me and one of my friends. We are very different individuals. To put it in the simplest terms: you know the saying "All or nothing?" She is all, and I am nothing. While she's off overdoing things, I'm over here underdoing it. However, we've realized we both need to be somewhere in the middle, and have started learning from each other.

That's how I feel men and women should be. Both genders have their strengths and weaknesses, neither is better than the other, but we can both learn something from one another. Which is why I like boys so much, because they balance me. I feel less emotional when I'm around them, like the wheel in my head isn't spinning so much, and I can just be calm, for just a minute.

Can I just say...

That I freaking want these shoes?

I don't know what makes Jimmy Choo think he can just charge $1500 for a pair of shoes, but he's got me tempted to sell all my earthly possessions for them.

Adventures in Craigslist

So one of our roommates recently moved out, and we've been attempting to find a new one. Unfortunately, the easiest way to do this is through KSL and Craigslist....which can be scary. Here's the latest!

The first email I receive looks like this:


Hi,
Is your room for rent?, Am single female 25 of age, i have a B. S. in computer information systems and technology , i love pets, am looking for clean and nice place that i can stay for some month and if place will be available for year i will be also be ok with that. I will love to hear from you.. if you still have it for rent. Thanks
 
Gurl Japanese

Ok, so she's foreign, from the context clues, probably Japanese. I can handle that. So I reply with:

Hi!

The room is still available, and you're more than welcome to set up a time to come look at it if you'd like. You can either email me back, or just call me at..... Thanks!

Sarah

Pretty basic, and straight forward right? I got this beauty in response. I would add commentary, but I feel it speaks for itself:

Hi
Thanks so much for getting back to me, I am the neat type, I really appreciate your word, i cloud have love to see the place before making any plan but I really have a lot of things to do as am busy getting same thing down, I like responsible,trustworthy person, But i will be fine if you can tell me about the place and you. A quick biography of myself, I was born and bread in South Dakota, I am a 6 flit, 25 yrs old e. I have a B. S. in computer information systems and technology from Purdue University and. Want to further, so i can have my master in computer information degree's, I am a very responsible and understanding person who like to keep things neat, or as orderly as possible out of habit. I love animals,I don't keep late nights neither i will have overnight guest around, but I am fine if you do, now am in Oklahoma, i believe that having my master Degrees in computer information will be a great thing for my Daddy even when my late mothers  still alive always told me that i most to my master after i finish my university,...My Ambition and Work: I was looking to settee down after my Master because I understand that I'll be doing good when i have my master then i can start a good life as I've being told by my Daddy friend who is a business man in Hong Kong. Paying rent on time will not be a problem as i will also be making the rent fee before the month ends, so you shouldn't be bothered about the payment. I must confess am comfortable with the price and I will want to secure the place down before my arrival so I want you to tell me all about the area, as am busy to come over,but the pictures. I also want you to know that I have a car that will be coming over with, and little of my furniture, please let me know if there will be space for that. With all that I've said above, I have told you more about me and my picture of mine will be attach in the next email, Let me how I can go about securing the place down before my arrival as I will be busy from now preparing to see my daddy in South Dakota and let me know if you can take off the ad off the site as I am going to secure the place with a deposit.Feel free to ask me any question and as I've said,I am looking to move in by the availability of the place, but want to secured it now
Thanks..

Born and bread in South Dakota....riiiight. 

Adobe CS3

Somewhere along the way I became the Graphic Designer for our office, but was completely unequipped to do so. So I did some research and some bribery and my roommate's brother was kind enough to gift me his outdated, portable version of Adobe CS3. This includes, but is not limited to: Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign, Page Maker, Fireworks, Light Room and Dreamweaver. I don't know what most of those are, but doesn't Dreamweaver sound awesome!?

I'm like a kid on Christmas.

Oh yeah, and it's my birthday :)

And now a word....

....about my red hair.

I love it. But due to it's continuous fading it will be recolored tomorrow. Stay tuned!

This is How I Feel Today

Oops

The texting conversation of my morning:

Aubree: Whatchya doing for lunch?

Me: Nothing. Wanna go out?

My Boss: Are texting personal messages at work?

That's correct. My phone thought it would be funny to ask my boss out this morning. Thank you phone.

Joplin

There are some interesting scenarios I feel are specific to hedgehog owners. For those of you who don't know, hedgehogs hibernate when the temperature drops below 70. And for those of you who still don't know, Utah dropped below 70 in September. So I did my research and discovered that if you let domesticated hedgies go into hibernation, they don't have enough "storage" to make it through the winter. So basically you just have to keep them warm. I went down to the pet store and bought a little tank warmer to help her out, as I was moving into the basement of my new house.

Last night I got home about midnight and went to go play with her a bit, as that's when she's at her height of playfulness, to discover her tank warmer had quit working, and she'd entered hibernation mode, which for thos who've never seen that, looks like this.

Not so friendly right? So what does this mean for Sarah? Instead of going to bed, I spend the night warming up my hedgehog. I picked her up (very cautiously), wrapped her in a hoodie, and turned on the blow dryer. By the time she'd warmed up and calmed down a bit I was super tired, so I picked her up in the hoodie, climbed into bed, cuddled up, and fell asleep. 

I woke up at 3am to her snuggling up to my feet. Hibernation mode deactivated.

Eyebrows Revisited

In a previous post I mentioned the compliment I got from a random girl about how magnificent my eyebrows were. Well, I had the waxed for them first time in probably 6 years. It took about 15 minutes, but the result is pretty spectacular I would say!

Oh yeah, and I should probably mention... my hair is red.

That is all.

Georgia on my Mind

Just sitting at work today and the Michael Buble version of "Georgia on my Mind" came on, and I couldn't help but just make a little post. I'm coming up on 2 years that I've been home, and I promise that there is not one day that goes by that I don't miss it. It's not just the nostalgia of my mission either. It's the feeling of Georgia. Ray Charles knew what he was talking about. There aren't words to describe the hospitality, the sunsets, or the way you feel as you zip along winding roads through the kudzu covered trees. It has it's little quirks, but it remains forever one of the most beautiful places I have ever been.

           

Let the Stabbing Begin

Ok, it's been way to long to update you on everything that's happened since August, so I'll give you the abbreviated list:

1. Went to my greenie's wedding in Seattle, her brother became enamored with me, it boosted my self-esteem, I haven't heard from him since.

2. My dad came with me to the ward camp-out at Lava Hot Springs. AWESOME. He played kickball with us, and we were spotlighted at Ward Prayer. My life has never been so amazing. I'll probably blog about my dad soon :)

3. Visited my mission. The goodness of this cannot be described, also will soon have a post about this.

4. Lots of changes at work: New billing person, new receptionist, new programs to implement, big promotional event coming up all equals really busy.

5. I'm moving. Right down the street from my current location, but still obnoxious, and leading to more busyness :)

So. There you have it, the update. But, what I really wanted to talk about is acupuncture. I haven't been sleeping lately, and no matter what I do I can't fall asleep, or if I do, I can't stay asleep, and I don't wake up feeling, by any means, refreshed. With all that going on, and a chaotic schedule, what's a girl to do? Acupuncture. 

So I found an acupuncturist, a cute little old Asian man who tells me things I already know like "you think too much," "stop trying to control everything," and "you work too much." Thanks Dr. Zou, I know :)

The good news is. It's working! I'm sleeping like a little baby and waking up feeling super rested. And, as a side effect, I'm not freaking out about stuff, I'm way calmer, and much happier. So in that case, Bring on the stabbing!

One Of The Boys...

My newly adopted theme song