Adventures in Craigslist

So one of our roommates recently moved out, and we've been attempting to find a new one. Unfortunately, the easiest way to do this is through KSL and Craigslist....which can be scary. Here's the latest!

The first email I receive looks like this:


Hi,
Is your room for rent?, Am single female 25 of age, i have a B. S. in computer information systems and technology , i love pets, am looking for clean and nice place that i can stay for some month and if place will be available for year i will be also be ok with that. I will love to hear from you.. if you still have it for rent. Thanks
 
Gurl Japanese

Ok, so she's foreign, from the context clues, probably Japanese. I can handle that. So I reply with:

Hi!

The room is still available, and you're more than welcome to set up a time to come look at it if you'd like. You can either email me back, or just call me at..... Thanks!

Sarah

Pretty basic, and straight forward right? I got this beauty in response. I would add commentary, but I feel it speaks for itself:

Hi
Thanks so much for getting back to me, I am the neat type, I really appreciate your word, i cloud have love to see the place before making any plan but I really have a lot of things to do as am busy getting same thing down, I like responsible,trustworthy person, But i will be fine if you can tell me about the place and you. A quick biography of myself, I was born and bread in South Dakota, I am a 6 flit, 25 yrs old e. I have a B. S. in computer information systems and technology from Purdue University and. Want to further, so i can have my master in computer information degree's, I am a very responsible and understanding person who like to keep things neat, or as orderly as possible out of habit. I love animals,I don't keep late nights neither i will have overnight guest around, but I am fine if you do, now am in Oklahoma, i believe that having my master Degrees in computer information will be a great thing for my Daddy even when my late mothers  still alive always told me that i most to my master after i finish my university,...My Ambition and Work: I was looking to settee down after my Master because I understand that I'll be doing good when i have my master then i can start a good life as I've being told by my Daddy friend who is a business man in Hong Kong. Paying rent on time will not be a problem as i will also be making the rent fee before the month ends, so you shouldn't be bothered about the payment. I must confess am comfortable with the price and I will want to secure the place down before my arrival so I want you to tell me all about the area, as am busy to come over,but the pictures. I also want you to know that I have a car that will be coming over with, and little of my furniture, please let me know if there will be space for that. With all that I've said above, I have told you more about me and my picture of mine will be attach in the next email, Let me how I can go about securing the place down before my arrival as I will be busy from now preparing to see my daddy in South Dakota and let me know if you can take off the ad off the site as I am going to secure the place with a deposit.Feel free to ask me any question and as I've said,I am looking to move in by the availability of the place, but want to secured it now
Thanks..

Born and bread in South Dakota....riiiight.