3 Tips for Hitting on Me

After Brother Healey's testimony Sunday, you're probably looking for some pointers anyway right? Now, I'm not saying this is a guide for picking up on any and all women. All opinions expressed in the following post are expressly those of Sarah A. Murray, and as such, no other females should be held responsible for said opinions. And since I did no conferring with any of my friends about this, if you're female and you disagree with anything said or have more to add, please feel free to comment :)

Tip #1: Sincere Compliments

Anytime a guy starts off with "You have amazing eyes" or "You're beautiful," I'm immediately turned off. Look, I can tell if you think I'm attractive, and if you're flirting with me those are both givens. So let's just...skip the obvious. Plus, not only did you use that line on the last girl you hit on, but how deep in the crevices of your itty bitty little cranium did you have to dig for that one? How about you get to know me, and use some creativity? Plus, you're a goober.

What's a sincere creative compliment you ask? Well, the other night during a conversation a guy told me that I fascinate him. Umm....win. Why? Let me think for a second about things that "fascinate" me: the human mind, anatomy, the artistic process, psychology, dynamics between differing cultures and how they interact, the Creation of the World. The definition of fascinate is "to attract and hold attentively by a unique power, personal charm, unusual nature, or some other special quality." Do I want to be fascinating? Heck. Yes.

Now, let me also insert here that I actually really enjoy being told that I'm beautiful. I don't even mind being told that I look sexy (I think foxy was my favorite...), however, it's all based on the timing of the compliment. I want my beauty to be all encompassing. I pride myself on my intelligence, humor, confidence, integrity, compassion and most importantly my testimony of the Savior. Looks don't even make my list. When you say that I'm beautiful, I want you to think all of me is beautiful. And frankly, if you drop it within 3 minutes of knowing me, I don't care to hear what else you have to say. 

Tip #2: Nerves are good

I love when a boy is nervous. Not in a sadistic way, or because I think I'm awesome; I just feel like nervousness is the epitome of sincerity. I love when you're walking around trying to get the gumption to sit next to me, or talk to me, or when you avoid eye contact because you're trying to calm yourself down. Personally, the nervous laugh is my favorite, it's like you're trying to laugh the butterflies out so that you can just be suave. Don't be suave, it's terribly unattractive. Be nervous, it's genuine. You don't even have to say the right thing because just by being nervous you've pretty much secured yourself a date. 


Tip #3: Be Transparent
When I like a boy, I try to do everything I can to make sure that he doesn't know that I like him....real Jr. High Sarah. What am I accomplishing with that? The exact opposite of what I want to accomplish, that's what. Basically, it's imperative that non-verbally you're transparent with me. 


Example:
Recently I was in a small social setting with a particular boy, and when he would say something funny he would look at me to make sure I was laughing. Once he saw I was, he'd smile really big. I could see that he was giving himself a little pep talk before each comment, and a pat on the back after each corresponding laugh....which was pretty adorable. Plus, it was obvious that he just wanted to see me smile. 


He was trying to impress me, not in the egotistical "I killed a shark with my bare hands" kind of way, but in the adorable "I'm hoping my quirks strengths are enough" way. Most of the time I fall for someone in the moments when I see something hidden that they haven't played up because they don't see it as a strength. When they're not trying to be anything. Just know it's a good thing that I know that you like me. 


My dear male blogstalkers, I know I give you a hard time a lot, and I apologize for having previously done so. However, I hope that you will accept these tips as a peace offering and go forth, armed with new found knowledge to woo the wonderful women in your life.