Recently one of my friends had his little heart shattered. I could go into all the details of back story and blame, but the end result is always the same....
Now, back a couple years ago, I remember joking that love was actually contrived of Satan. I didn't understand how a loving Father in Heaven could think it was good for us to run around being attracted to people that aren't attracted back, or better yet, why we loved people so strongly that weren't right for us. It seemed to me a vicious cycle of pain that couldn't, for any reason be the plan of a Merciful Creator. However, as I've grown up, I've realized a couple of important things that can be summed up in a single CS Lewis quote:
Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace.
First, let's discuss this "hurts abominably" portion. Honestly, it's this portion of "the path to love" that I've found most confusing. If families are an institution of God, if that is the end goal, and where he wants us, shouldn't he just hand it to us on a platter? And wouldn't more people be excited about dating if it didn't suck so bad? Probably. But the reason it hurts so bad, is to give us opportunity to use the Atonement. Life doesn't need help throwing us pain, and that's why we have a Savior who suffered to understand each individual affliction. When trials and hardships, including heartbreak, happen it is our opportunity to turn to the all-knowing Creator, and his Son, who not only know and understand us, but who can see the eternal perspective. And in this moment of prayer, we not only accomplish humility and vulnerability, but gain the Divine bestowal of comfort, peace, and perspective.
Secondly, I'd like to point out a reality. We sincerely see ourselves as cottages: quaintly tucked away on waterfront property, beautifully built, but far from majestic. But God sees us for what we really are: a place of magnificence and prestige, built to be inhabited by royalty. Far too often I have a been ready to settle for cottage-dwellers; owners who - while they are proud of, and love their cottage - spur little to no inspiration or influence. Contrast that with palace dwellers, or nobility; intended to represent grandeur, magnificence and exalted moral excellence.
As I get further along in the dating world, I realize that "Thy will be done" also relates to the individual I select to be sealed to for eternity. If the Lord knows my potential, and sees my purpose and ability to influence others, I have to believe he has set aside for me an individual who sees it and encourages it as well. Heartbreak is terrible. It's never easy, or deserved, but it is one of the most powerful ways to come unto the Savior. It provides us with sacred opportunities to not only recognize and receive the comfort of the Holy Ghost, but to be given opportunity and chance to become the Sons and Daughters of a Heavenly King.
Now, back a couple years ago, I remember joking that love was actually contrived of Satan. I didn't understand how a loving Father in Heaven could think it was good for us to run around being attracted to people that aren't attracted back, or better yet, why we loved people so strongly that weren't right for us. It seemed to me a vicious cycle of pain that couldn't, for any reason be the plan of a Merciful Creator. However, as I've grown up, I've realized a couple of important things that can be summed up in a single CS Lewis quote:
Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace.
First, let's discuss this "hurts abominably" portion. Honestly, it's this portion of "the path to love" that I've found most confusing. If families are an institution of God, if that is the end goal, and where he wants us, shouldn't he just hand it to us on a platter? And wouldn't more people be excited about dating if it didn't suck so bad? Probably. But the reason it hurts so bad, is to give us opportunity to use the Atonement. Life doesn't need help throwing us pain, and that's why we have a Savior who suffered to understand each individual affliction. When trials and hardships, including heartbreak, happen it is our opportunity to turn to the all-knowing Creator, and his Son, who not only know and understand us, but who can see the eternal perspective. And in this moment of prayer, we not only accomplish humility and vulnerability, but gain the Divine bestowal of comfort, peace, and perspective.
Secondly, I'd like to point out a reality. We sincerely see ourselves as cottages: quaintly tucked away on waterfront property, beautifully built, but far from majestic. But God sees us for what we really are: a place of magnificence and prestige, built to be inhabited by royalty. Far too often I have a been ready to settle for cottage-dwellers; owners who - while they are proud of, and love their cottage - spur little to no inspiration or influence. Contrast that with palace dwellers, or nobility; intended to represent grandeur, magnificence and exalted moral excellence.
As I get further along in the dating world, I realize that "Thy will be done" also relates to the individual I select to be sealed to for eternity. If the Lord knows my potential, and sees my purpose and ability to influence others, I have to believe he has set aside for me an individual who sees it and encourages it as well. Heartbreak is terrible. It's never easy, or deserved, but it is one of the most powerful ways to come unto the Savior. It provides us with sacred opportunities to not only recognize and receive the comfort of the Holy Ghost, but to be given opportunity and chance to become the Sons and Daughters of a Heavenly King.
One of the hardest parts of life is coming to the realization that other people have agency and sometimes they even use it wrong. At least that's what my wife tells me... ;)
ReplyDeleteMan I love you.
ReplyDeleteI think heartache makes us love so much deeper. How much more do you appreciate your Savior after you've suffered a bit and struggled to understand His atonement. How much more will you love and appreciate your husband when you've loved and lost, and realized how much greater who he has in store for you is than anyone else on Earth could be? Someone who has also experienced love and pain, and cherishes you deeper than anyone else.
Gosh that's romantic.
I once had a ex tell me that he didn't understand how much he hurt me, and how well I treated him until the next girl he dated dumped him.... and then he apologized. But I'm glad all that happened, because it wasn't equal, it wasn't right, and Heavenly Father had greater plans for me.
Holy Cow Heavenly Father loves us.