In The Interim...

Lately I've been feeling a lot of things:

Inadequacy

Heartbreak

Homesickness

Discouragement

Fear

Overwhelment

Frustration

And all of that coupled with a highly active church calling and feeling like I'm behind at work leads to lots of over-thinking. Church today was definitely needed. I realized that regardless of all of the things that are going on in my life, despite all of the emotions that I'm feeling there is only one thing that matters: My relationship with the Savior. It is my anchor in the storm, and when there is too much to handle - and I can't even hold all of my tasks in one hand, let alone accomplish them all - if I, like Peter walking on the water, just keep my eyes on the Savior, I can accomplish miracles in the storms of my life. 

I used to see church as an inconvenience, 3 hours of meetings that I had to sit through. But now it's my refuge. Today I walked in "ready for bed." I was tired, beaten down, grumpy and completely antisocial. I have to admit that the thought of sitting through Sacrament talks was almost too much for me. But as each speaker spoke I felt life being slowly breathed back into my soul. My light, which had been dimmed by the world throughout the week, was being replenished by the Spirit. It was a magnificent feeling. And while I still felt tired, I also felt joy and light. 

The Gospel is my refuge from the storm, and each day I grow continually more and more grateful for it in my life. 

I painted this for a friend. It represents where I want to be...

 6 Yea, they shall not be beaten down by the storm at the last day; yea, neither shall they be harrowed up by the whirlwinds; but when the storm cometh they shall be gathered together in their place, that the storm cannot penetrate to them; yea, neither shall they be driven with fierce winds whithersoever the enemy listeth to carry them.

 7 But behold, they are in the hands of the Lord of the harvest, and they are his; and he will raise them up at the last day.