Damn Straight!

That's right. I just swore, and let me tell you why.

Recently, my friend Sarah made a post titled "Hot and Chubby" all about how one of her guy friends mentioned to her that he always thought she was hot...but chubby. Not that he had a problem with it, but that was just how he felt. Then she continued on with a pleasant blog entry about how she was sick of being hot and chubby and she just wanted to be hot. So she waltzed her way into a personal trainer, went through all the ins and outs of BMI and figuring out what a healthy weight would be, and finally her and her trainer came to a goal, which left her lean, healthy and with a remaining portion of boobs. It was actually quite motivational. 

With that being said, let me tell you a little story. I grew up with an older sister who got the tall, skinny genes all through puberty, a mom who I remember always being concerned about her weight, a dad who was built large, 2 older cousins (who were a lot like brothers) with great metabolisms, 2 aunts who were thin and very attractive, a younger brother who ate everything in sight and packed on muscle, and all the while having little to no education on what being healthy meant. With all of this perspective I had to figure out what my reality was. And the reality was I, Sarah Murray, had a slow metabolism, with my dad's Slavic build, but I was eating like the rest of my high metabolizing  family members, all the while absorbing my mom's extreme concern for weight. All of that combined landed me at age 17 and 250 lbs.

Now, luckily, I joined weight watchers and lost about 70lbs, and have, over the last few years, formed healthy habits which have resulted in losing another 20lbs. Now I say all this not to gain praise, or to brag, but to tell you that I am downright SICK of caring about my weight! 

Since my victorious 90lbs do you know how much I've actually celebrated my weightloss? Zero. 

I lost an entire 5th grader and never congratulated myself. In fact, even after all that, I mentally beat myself up everytime I ate a piece of cake, and still continue to do so. I ask myself why I can't have self control, and then I tell myself that I'm never going to be skinny, I can never wear a swimming suit in public again, boys will never ever like me, which means I'll never get married, so I'll never have sex and I'll live my life as an angry, lonely old fat woman. Then I eat a the whole pint of Chunky Monkey. Cause that's what I am. A chunky monkey.

Little irrational? Yeah. I know. And I am tired of it. I am sick of wanting to be thin. I just want to feel good about my choices. 

I went to this revolutionizing presentation the other night about how the media has screwed up our perceptions of what a "normal" woman should look like, and it's brainwashed us to think that "thin" and "beautiful" equal "happiness" and "success." In this presentation was a study about how the better you feel about yourself, the better choices you make. Loving yourself = Healthy Choices. Hating yourself = Downward spiral. You should check their website out. I had a lot of mini revelations, and just in the last few days I've realized that the more I've loved myself, the more I've loved my choices, which in turn, makes me love myself more. Isn't that amazing!?

So to sum this up: Hot and chubby? Damn Straight ;)

Adobe CS3

Somewhere along the way I became the Graphic Designer for our office, but was completely unequipped to do so. So I did some research and some bribery and my roommate's brother was kind enough to gift me his outdated, portable version of Adobe CS3. This includes, but is not limited to: Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign, Page Maker, Fireworks, Light Room and Dreamweaver. I don't know what most of those are, but doesn't Dreamweaver sound awesome!?

I'm like a kid on Christmas.

Oh yeah, and it's my birthday :)

And now a word....

....about my red hair.

I love it. But due to it's continuous fading it will be recolored tomorrow. Stay tuned!

This is How I Feel Today

Music Moment II

Two concerts in one week!? I've completely lost it... or maybe I've found it, I'm not really sure yet.

This time is just as good as the last. I promise :)

1. Allred - There should be a law about how many crush-worthy factors you can package into one person, but since there isn't, it's completely impossible not to fall in love with John Allred. First off, he's not just attractive, he's beautiful, and his voice is so soft and smooth that there's no choice but to close your eyes and sway. Plus he plays his own instruments - the piano and the guitar - and happens to be one of the most genuinely kind people you've ever met. Those of you who live in Salt Lake, he's local, which adds to his sheer awesomeness. Those of you who aren't, it gives you yet another excuse to come visit.

2. He is We - The band I bought the tickets for. My roommate introduced me to them a few months back and I fell in love with her voice. There's something about her sound that is completely honest. However, I fell in love with her acoustic demo album, and her new one is good, but I feel like they've almost beefed it up too much, making it too "poppy." Which would explain her giant following of teenage girls. Anyway, in the words of my friend Eric: "Do you like the sound of angels?" Then download her album.

3. lady danville - Ho. Ly. Crap. I showed up to the concert not having a clue who these guys were, and to be honest, not really caring. But I am officially in love. Thanks to these guys I've realized I like my music like I like my men: quirky and fun. Their music is so simplistic that it allows you to feel a full spectrum of emotion. One song you feel like you're kickin it on the beach enjoying a perfect summer day with your friends, and the next you're driving down a country road, reminiscing of past relationships.

Independently they all have very different voices, but when they launch into the most flawless 3 part harmony you've ever heard, you can't help but swoon even just a little bit. Their music is fun, full of emotion, and blended with so many different inspirations that it would be unjust to box them into a genre. Plus I'm a sucker for any man who plays the drums with his hands.

Download their album ($4.95 on amazon.com), and then spread the word. There was so much awesomeness Jamee licked her own arm to apply their temporary tattoo.

The end. 

Music Moment

Alright, I know I've been Jesus-ing it up for the last couple posts, but we're gonna break and embrace my hippie side for just a moment.

Last night I went to a concert at Kilby Court ( a very small, uncharming, but excellent venue in Salt Lake), and encountered 3 very stellar bands, which I will now introduce you to.

1. Netherfriends - (Cue barefoot, tree-hugging hippie excitement) This guy decided the start a 50 state 50 song project, and I got to be part of his Utah portion. He's basically travelling all 50 states, performing and writing a song in each one. I was doing some research and learned that many other bands (much larger named ones) have attempted this and failed. However, his purpose is not to write a song about each one, but to write a song based on how each state inspires him. Much better I think. Anyway, I fell in love the minute they began setting up and I saw that their equipment consisted of a drum set (the drummer carried the tambourine around his neck), and a milk crate with a large pole sticking out of the middle surrounded by pots & pans, and a cymbal. Awesome.


They were phenomenal. Please check them out. 


2. The Neighbors - Not as hippie-esque. Just amazing. It's a brother/sister duo where the girl plays the bass, the piano, and sings... sometimes all at the same time. The guy drums, plays the keyboard, and sings...again, sometimes all at the same time. Crushes on both of them. Listen to them, buy their stuff. The End.


3. Koo Koo Kanga Roo - A children's group that somehow went main stream and have opened for bands such as Reel Big Fish, and Aquabats. Crazy. The music...is children's music, educational songs put to crappy Electronica. However, the life changing happens because of the live show. These guys are not only freaking hilarious, but awesome performers. They just know how to work a crowd. To describe it to you would not only be difficult, but you'd think I'd recently encountered some heavy drugs, therefore, I will only reveal the most awesome portion of the evening. 


They sang 2 songs back to back. In the first, they taught us Pirate dance moves, and in the second, they taught us Ninja dance moves. After the brief instruction, they asked us to choose which we were (I was, of course a Ninja. Who honestly thinks Pirates are better?) and separated us into our groups. We then had an all out Ninja vs. Pirates dance battle. ......need I say more?

To conclude, this was possibly one of the best Valentine's Days of my life. Thank you Eric Cockayne and friends revolutionizing my world.

Let the Weak Say 'I am Strong'...

It's been forever, and there's so much on my mind, so I'll just go with the most prevalent of all the thoughts:

The Savior loves each of us with an incomprehensible amount of pure, unconditional love. It's a brand of love that has never come from any human I've ever associated with, and have never felt anywhere else other than in my quiet moments of prayer and pondering. And what's even more amazing still, is that this love comes even when I am broken down in the depths of despair because I know that I have let Him down. I've somewhere along the way stumbled and fallen off the path back to Him, and I'm so broken and bruised that I feel like I can't possibly make my way there. But He always appears, full of love and forgiveness, and without question, picks me up and carries me the rest of the way. He heals my wounds, no matter how deep. And fills me with peace and comfort. He lifts my burdens, calms the storms of life, and softens the harsh blows of the adversary.

He is my Redeemer, my Savior and Protector. No matter the degree of my mistakes, or the depth of my pain, He can and will always make it better. He is constant in His forgiveness, and ever patient with me. And for that I will forever serve Him.