All My Random:

Men.

2012-01-18T17:42:00.000-08:00

I remember once asking "At what age do boys become men?" Since that time, I've realized that the transition from Boy to Man is not determined by the amount of years, but by experiences. And it is by these experiences that each boy is then presented with what I like to call "Man Cards." Man Cards are more like an expansion pack than a deck, with varying themes which can be mixed and matched to create a full hand. Theoretical packs may include, but are not limited to:

The Handy Man: Great at fixing all car/household needs
The Ladies Man: Knows his role in all courting formalities
The Business Man: Strives to build a life of stability for his loved ones
The Family Man: Prioritizes life with wife and children at the top.
The Man in Charge: Decisive and confident, yet yielding and humble.

Now, of course, each pack comes with various cards, which - when tasks are accomplished, or habits or lifestyles created - are given to said boy/man. The expansion pack which I would like to discuss in depth today, is what I would like to call: The Ultimate Man.

Over Thanksgiving I was pleasantly surprised to learn that my brother (who, in my mind, is still 17), has been rapidly collecting his man cards. Part of this I attribute to my father, the manliest man I know, and the other part I attribute to his prosthetic leg (pictured right). About 4 years ago my brother was in a traumatic accident which took 6 inches of his left leg. For any 21 yr old, this could be a pretty traumatic experience, but Alex fought hard to overcome all the emotional and physical aspects of his injury. Today, most people don't even know there's anything wrong until the first time he slams his shin on tool box without wincing. Throughout his experiences he's adopted the mantra "I am not handicapped" which is not limited to physicality. My brother refuses to be handicapped in any area of his life. If something needs to be done, he does it, with no excuses.

Alex is also the epitome of a "Protector." He will make sure all of your needs are taken care of, and he takes his responsibility as provider very seriously. He is not above making you breakfast in bed, telling you he loves you, or listening to you cry, because he knows that's what you need. However, on the opposite end of the spectrum, he is also going to protect you in every way possible: finding food, fixing your car, providing shelter, and threatening to bash in the heads of careless boys who demolish your heart. In a few short years of life, he's realized that being a man is about accepting responsibility, not projecting it on others.

It was a little startling to realize my little brother was all grown up, but more than anything it was eye-opening to realize that the characteristics he encompasses are the characteristics I look for in the men that I date. There are plenty of Man Cards that are nice to have around (i.e. The Oil Change, Successful Job, Orders His Date's Food, etc...), but the ones that I feel are pivotal in my "Am I going to date this guy" process, come from The Ultimate Man category. They are learned traits of a man who is comfortable enough in his manhood, to strive for traits that could be perceived as less manly. While confidence, decisiveness, and a dash of "Cro-Magnon" mentality can be initially very attractive, it's exceptionally comforting to know that your man can be humble, meek, and "easy to be entreated."

Why I'm attracted to Non-LDS Guys

2012-01-13T16:20:00.000-08:00

Obviously gauged ears are super hot...

Thank you Brandon Boyd for being beautiful.

...but I decided that there was probably more to it than that and it was probably wise to figure it out. Then I also decided that I should probably impart my insight to the world. So here it is: Why I'm attracted to Non-LDS Guys (to be abbreviated hereafter as NLGs...). And I apologize for the generalizations. These aren't facts, just observations from my life.

1. They show interest
For some unknown reason, all the LDS guys that have ever liked me, have never said anything. I find out way too late to do anything and always from some mutual friend. And in most cases I always think "I would've totally gone out with him!" NLGs are straight up about it from the get-go.

2. They know what a date is
When NLGs are interested, they ask me out to get to know me better. When LDS guys are interested, they have to form new social situations to see me in action so they can get to know me casually so that they can figure out if they want to date me. Dates are to get to know people so you can decide if you want to date them, not a trap door to marriage.

3. They respect my boundaries
One of the problems with dating within the Church is that everyone has a different set of "rules" when it comes to dating and making out. I pretty much wrote the book on conservative dating, and therefore, with LDS guys, my views are often mocked instead of respected. NLGs on the other hand, do whatever it takes to be with me, and if that means certain rules of engagement during cuddling or making out, then so be it.

4. They understand a good thing
I think that most LDS males have an overabundance of phenomenal women in their lives. So many, that they start to think that it's normal. However, I can't tell you how many of my NLG friends have said "I'm just so ready to find a good girl..." and that's the truth. Once they see a girl who is focused, faithful and full of hope, optimism and happiness, they recognize that it's an anomaly and not the standard.

5. They just do
I feel like the thought process in their head is something like this:

*Sees cute girl* Hottie! *approaches girl and engages in conversation* She's funny! *more conversation* And smart! *more conversation* Dude, I gotta get her number...*number attained*

Most of my LDS buddies talk the relationship through eternity and realize all the flaws with the marriage before they even get the girls' number. Seriously dude, tone it down. Take her on a date... It's just a date.

Now obviously there are other reasons why I'm attracted to these guys, for the most part, they're genuine, sincere, men with good hearts and plenty of drive and chivalry. But the reasons why I consider dating them more frequently than LDS guys can be summed up in the above 5 reasons. So in conclusion:

Don't Mess.

2011-12-27T11:24:00.000-08:00

Everything in life is about balance: Be confident but not prideful; be humble but not a doormat; indulge every once in a while but always be in control; express how you feel but don't be irrational; not everyone needs to know everything but be honest in all your dealings....it makes it hard to know where the line is, and takes constant course correction.

If I were to be described in terms of personality tests The Color Code says I'm a Blue/White, Meyers-Briggs calls me the INFJ Counselor; and Kiersey labels me as an Idealist. Basically, I'm a lover and a feeler. It's what I do. I love without conditions, trust cautiously, strive to be nothing but genuine with people, and I value integrity higher than any other virtue. In theory this all sounds really great and noble, but occasionally it can be perceived as naive and soft.

But I don't love out of naivety. I love out of choice. I see the deceit and wickedness of the world and choose to love anyway. I know that most people don't prize integrity as much as I do, and everyone has different perceptions of what's acceptable behavior. We've all been raised in different realities, and have different belief systems of how to live our lives. And in the face of all of those facts, loving everyone unconditionally and without cause leaves you looking like an easy target, or a necessity for coddling. Therefore, I believe that while love is given freely, trust should be given sparingly.

Because of the status of the world and how much I've been burned in the past, I trust very conditionally. Based mostly on intuition and continuous honesty: if you can tell me I should probably not wear that dress, and that you hate it when I whistle, your trust factor goes up. BS makes my top 5 pet peeve list. Honesty shows respect.

I am 25, I have life experience and have seen and been through situations that have shaped me into, what I would consider, a relatively rational, mature adult. I see reality for what it is, I simply choose not to sink to its level. I choose to tow the line of realism and optimism; being thick-skinned and soft-hearted; and loving without restraint in a world of filth and sorrow despite the consequences.

Just let it go...

2011-12-14T15:02:00.000-08:00

I used to think unrequited love was the worst thing imaginable. I've since proven myself wrong. Self-forbidden love is far worse. Attraction is a principle that I don't think I'll ever understand. Why is Susie attracted to Billy when Billy's attracted to Janie? Better yet, why are Bill and Mary attracted to each other when Bill likes to drink beer and Mary wants to be married in the temple? I have no idea. Here is where I would like to add the disclaimer that I am, by no means, listening to Dashboard and screaming at the heavens while slashing at my wrists. I'm actually quite far from that place. This here post is simply a step back from years of mutual attraction between me and men I shouldn't date, to look at what has come of all of it. And here's what I've gleaned:

Sacrifice for future progression.

In the past, I tried really hard to make each of these situations work. Sarah meets Boy and thinks he's attractive, but carries on with life. One day Boy makes a move and Sarah remembers that sometimes boys like her. Mutual interest is born. Sarah and Boy know that it's unfair to try to make relationship work, but Sarah remains secretly hopeful and falls anyway. Hard. Followed by pain. The end.

However, this last time around, I've realized a couple things:
1. I love Jesus
2. I want family built on a solid Gospel foundation
3. In order to have a Christ-centered home, I must have a Christ-centered husband.

And for some reason, despite facts 1 & 2, I cannot find a freakin #3. For some unknown reason I'm not typically attracted to LDS guys, and for probably the same reason, they're not really attracted to me. It's strange, I know, but true. So this last time, instead of throwing myself emotionally into a trainwreck of the heart, I've decided to sacrifice what I want right now, for what I really want - an eternal family.

It's probably one of the most torturous thing I've ever done to myself. But, I know that sometimes the Lord is already handing us the blessings we want, but we are way to occupied with the mediocrity we happen to be clinging to. Let's hope this is the case.....or else....

Just kidding. When I typed "Just let it go" into Google this is what came up. How could I say no to the Angel of Death? Look how cute he is...see what I mean? Always attracted to the dark ones.

Let's Talk About Sex, Baby...

2011-11-14T09:48:00.000-08:00

Or I'm Mormon. So not really.

Let's talk about NCMOs. You all know you've had one. Even those of us who try to pass it off by dating someone we really don't like and continuously telling them (and yourself) that "you still want to give them a chance even though you're not committed because you, in all actuality, don't know".... regardless of the fact that all you do is make out with them....yeah, you know. You know deep in the recesses of your conscience that you're just in it for the lip action.

Those of you who know me, know that I don't believe in NCMOs. Mostly because I don't believe in hurting others, or knowingly thrusting myself into heartache. And let's face it, no one has ever come out of one of those unscathed. At the very least, you feel dirty and used, and even if you weren't interested, the moment you're done it's a freakin race to get the hottest boyfriend possible before he shows up with America's next top model.

With all that being said, there's lots of boy talk and making out flying around our house these days, and it's making me itch just a little...or a lot. But regardless of how much I wanna put my tally on that white board (honestly, who does that!?...) becoming a lesser human being by abasing my morals and giving in to some lustful desire that's just going to leave me feeling crappy at the end anyway, is totally not worth it.

So in the mean time, I'll be over here. With my self-imposed hyper-chaste morals keeping me warm at night.

Chocolate or Vanilla?

2011-10-31T16:57:00.000-07:00

So I've been thinking....about dating. It's a lot like food.

I really love brussel sprouts. I also really love sushi, broccoli, eggplant, dark chocolate, squash in all its varieties, chicken hearts, olives, mushrooms....the list goes on.

But I really detest Jello. Hate it. I mean seriously....look:

In nature bright colors = poisonous

Agh! .....oh......oh ew...

Why is this bedded in arugala!?

This recipe exists. I own the cookbook.
(Not funny mom.)

It's milky....and white....with colored chunks?

And if it's not disgusting enough by itself....

But I digress....

I also don't like french fries, maraschino cherries, coffee flavoring, mint in my chocolate, bleu cheese, salmon, and in general I'm EXTREMELY selective about my hamburgers.

Now, this isn't about my tastebuds, so stop being outraged. Just because I don't like those things doesn't mean that they're bad (Except Jello). And just because I like the other things, doesn't mean that they're good, it just means I like them. It's a matter of preference.

Dating is the same. It's all a matter of preference. I like tall guys with dark hair. I also like them super confident, slightly sassy, and exceptionally smart, cause let's face it...I need to be put in my place :) However, this doesn't mean that nobody ever likes smaller, quiet, shy guys. In fact, it doesn't mean that I don't like them. It just means that I prefer the other one. It's what I'm attracted to. But, just like my tastebuds, I can change over time. Sometimes even if I'm not initially attracted to a guy, he grows on me and my preference changes, and sometimes it doesn't.

So people, what I'm trying to say is: when I say that I want the vanilla ice cream instead of the chocolate, it's not because the chocolate sucks (we all know that's not true). It's because I prefer it. And when the cute boy I like decides to go for the younger, more petite, lots of eyeliner girl, it's not because she's better than me, it's because she's different, and that different happens to be his vanilla.

In Less Than 2 Minutes

2011-10-27T13:01:00.000-07:00

Because I've been blocked for blogging material recently, I decided to turn to my dear Facebook friends for blog-spiration, and it turns out the majority want to see random cat pictures....

Now, some of you had some good ideas, and I'll ponder on them. To you cat people: thanks for crappy suggestions.

Since I write based on my life anyway, I thought I'd do a quick Sarah-Scan to see if anything came up. Hence, I give you:

Sarah Murray: In Less Than 2 Minutes (Divided, of course, into categories and bullet points, sprinkled with sarcasm for your reading pleasure)

Chapter 1: A Brief History

I grew up a redneck, turned into a hippie and became a Mormon. I'm now a free-spirit with morals and a really bad sunburn.

Chapter 2: Likes and Loathes

I love mornings and hate jello. Doing nothing and accomplishing everything are both my favorite. I detest wearing shoes, but love the way they look on my feet. I love my bed time and will ignore it for 3 reasons:

To help someone in need
A great conversation
To cuddle with a boy

I love Escanaba, MI but will never live there. I am petrified of having full-length conversations on the phone, and avoid Facebook chat at all costs. I like Winter cause I look cute. My favorite hygienic activity is brushing my teeth.

Chapter 3: If I were....

A car, I'd be a Mini Cooper. An animal, I'd be a Penguin. Color: Deep Violet, Country: Morocco, Season: Autumn, Instrument: Bassoon, Music: Psychedelic Rock, Alcohol: Cognac

Chapter 4: Music

Here are my iPod playlists:

17 Again
Cheer up Emo Kid
Comfortably Numb
Jesus Music
Kick It!
Ladies Night
Like a Villian
PMS With a Gun
Prozac
Road Trippin'
Soul Sista

Chapter 5: Loves and Losses

Joel Asher was my first love, we were going to get married and ride to pre-school on a purple school bus together; he moved to Wyoming before pre-school started. There are 2 men I would've given my heart away to, I dated neither. My first kiss is still my best.

Chapter 6: Laws of Attraction

I love tall, skinny smart men who dress like old guys. I was recently converted to younger men. Gauged ears are my weakness.

Chapter 7: Things I Think are Useless

Feminists.

Eat My Pie

2011-09-25T09:34:00.000-07:00

I started a new blog. Partially because I love blogging, and partially because I have a disease called over-productivity. Somewhere in the hustle and bustle of my life, I lost my ability to do things for myself. So with the help of some friends, we decided I would start a new blog. It will be a pretty personal, intimate look at Sarah and the on goings in my life. I'm anticipating less sassy and confident, and more vulnerable and artsy. So if you're into that kinda thing, feel free to visit it from time to time. It won't be posted on Facebook for the masses, just on it's own, mostly for me. So for those of you who care, I introduce to you:

Eat My Pie.

Was that really necessary?

2011-09-13T11:51:00.000-07:00

Julie B. Beck once suggested organizing our lives into things that are essential, things that are necessary, and things that are nice. And I thought "How could this relate to dating?" Well, if you remember, in a previous post I resolved to throw out the checklist until I'm actually dating someone seriously, which just made my "are you worth my time" checklist into my "should I marry this guy" checklist. So I thought I'd give it a little read through using this "essential, necessary, nice" classification...

Is it too long? Possibly a little too demanding? Is my desire to have my future husband ride in on a Harley decked out in leather and smelling of sweet musky man unreasonable?

Probably. Which means it's time to revamp the 'ol list, starting with the essentials:

So what is the difference between essential and necessary?

Essentials, for me, are those things that would allow me to be confident the two of us could make it work if and only if we were the last two people on Earth:

Regular Temple Attendance
Personal relationship with the Savior
Complete conversion to the Gospel
Honors his Priesthood
Doesn't believe divorce is an option (not that that would matter if we were the only two people on Earth)

Then we have the Necessary things, those oh-so important personality traits that I need to ensure I don't stab my spouse:

Sense of humor
Communicates well
Understanding
Listens
Self-Esteem
Social aptitude
Physically active

And the Nice things, these are usually the things we think we need, but don't:

Assertive
Outgoing
Strong physical connection
Has a budget
Doesn't like Will Ferrell movies...

Now, obviously, these are just off the top of my head and nowhere near a completed list, but the point is that I feel like our ideals may get skewed just a teensy bit by that list we make in Young Women's:

Returned Missionary
Eagle Scout
Blue Eyes
Likes it when I twirl my skirt like this...
Rides a white steed

....that might have been an exaggeration, but you get the point. What I'm trying to say is that I feel like we often spend so much time making these lists, that we forget what we actually need in a companion and end up creating an unaccomplishable ideal. So, men and brethren/ sistren, I ask you:

Is everything on your list a necessity?
Is it even reasonable?
Can you live up to your own list?

If you answered no to any of these, you might be a hypocrite. It's ok, I am too.

Really? Still not essential?

But seriously, I've been revamping my list, and in doing so, I'm realizing that some of the guys I decided to give the boot, probably deserve a second chance. Because as I've been observing the great examples of happy marriages in my life, I'm discovering that the things that I love about them are the things they've developed over years of marriage. Just like we can't start out with the nice house, a Harley and stable job, you can't start a relationship with 20+ years of shared experiences and understanding the small things about your spouse. These things are the blessings of hard-work and we can't expect rewards for a work we haven't done now can we?

One Less Lonely Girl...

2011-08-31T14:15:00.000-07:00

I got into a pretty heated discussion about dating and "the Lord's timing" a couple weeks ago. It was the usual: Girls complaining about not being asked on dates, Guys complaining about girls complaining, and everyone coming to the same resolutions "Well, there really aren't any answers," and "It'll all happen in the Lord's time."

First of all, let's talk about there not being any answers. Really!? Marriage is a commandment, the highest ordinance one can receive in this life. Eternal families are the whole reason we're here. Plus, with how often we get the marriage talk, do you really think that the Lord is going to leave us with zero answers? Go ahead...think about it...

Didn't think so.

So for those of you sitting around wondering "Why am I still single?" let me give you my 2 cents: I believe that we all need to form our own "Dating Identity."

Story time!
Once upon a time I had a roommate who consistently had at least 5 different suitors at a time. I, on the other hand, had none. So in order the gain the attention of the male population, I would observe the behaviors of said fair maiden and try to mimic her actions. When I did this, not only did I feel like I was living a lie, but my efforts were completely unsuccessful, because we were 2 entirely different people. However, there were still 2 undeniable facts:

1. I had no dates
2. She had lots

But when I was trying to be like her, my efforts were failing miserably. Why? Well, because I wasn't her. She had the gift to be sincerely interested in everything about everyone. Plus, she had the hair flipping, arm touching and cute laughing all perfectly timed to the millisecond. I didn't have any of that, in fact, my strengths are completely different....not to mention I'm not really good at timing the hair flip/lip lick/cute giggle thing.....

So how was I supposed to get a boy's attention!?

Always distracted by food....

Well, I realized that she didn't actually have anything special, she just knew how be her "shiniest" self. Which meant all I really needed to do was harness the most comfortable, confident, out-going Sarah that existed. So I took a self assessment, and found my shiny alter-ego: witty, sassy, side-smile, squeeze-his-bicep Sarah.

The end.

Good story huh? :)

Basically, when we say we have no answers, it's because we think we need to be or say or do something that feels very unlike us. But in all reality, you need to be, say and do things that are 100% you. So figure out who your flirting alter-ego is and run with it. And in case you care, here's my 3-part formula for flirting comfortability:

1. Recognize your own talents and gifts - These are tools the Lord has given you, as you grow and develop them, your confidence around people grows because you feel like you have something to offer.
2.Do whatever it is you need to do to feel attractive - not be attractive, that's subjective. If you feel attractive, you're going to look attractive, and vice versa.
3. Forward momentum - You have to make some kind of movement. Fate doesn't exist, and God doesn't bless the lazy or the stupid. Get out of your comfort zone and make the magic happen.

Which brings me to "it's all in the Lord's timing," need I refer you all to President Uchtdorf's talk on Patience yet again?

"...Patience [is] far more than simply waiting for something to happen—patience requires actively working toward worthwhile goals and not getting discouraged when results don’t appear instantly or without effort. There is an important concept here: patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears... It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed."

Thank you Dieter, I couldn't have said it better myself. Now, if we apply this to dating, I ask you:

Are you doing all you can to pursue marriage? If not, stop complaining and ask the Lord what else you can do. If you are, you shouldn't be complaining anyway.

In The Interim...

2011-08-28T23:05:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been feeling a lot of things:

Inadequacy

Heartbreak

Homesickness

Discouragement

Fear

Overwhelment

Frustration

And all of that coupled with a highly active church calling and feeling like I'm behind at work leads to lots of over-thinking. Church today was definitely needed. I realized that regardless of all of the things that are going on in my life, despite all of the emotions that I'm feeling there is only one thing that matters: My relationship with the Savior. It is my anchor in the storm, and when there is too much to handle - and I can't even hold all of my tasks in one hand, let alone accomplish them all - if I, like Peter walking on the water, just keep my eyes on the Savior, I can accomplish miracles in the storms of my life.

I used to see church as an inconvenience, 3 hours of meetings that I had to sit through. But now it's my refuge. Today I walked in "ready for bed." I was tired, beaten down, grumpy and completely antisocial. I have to admit that the thought of sitting through Sacrament talks was almost too much for me. But as each speaker spoke I felt life being slowly breathed back into my soul. My light, which had been dimmed by the world throughout the week, was being replenished by the Spirit. It was a magnificent feeling. And while I still felt tired, I also felt joy and light.

The Gospel is my refuge from the storm, and each day I grow continually more and more grateful for it in my life.

I painted this for a friend. It represents where I want to be...

6 Yea, they shall not be beaten down by the storm at the last day; yea, neither shall they be harrowed up by the whirlwinds; but when the storm cometh they shall be gathered together in their place, that the storm cannot penetrate to them; yea, neither shall they be driven with fierce winds whithersoever the enemy listeth to carry them.

7 But behold, they are in the hands of the Lord of the harvest, and they are his; and he will raise them up at the last day.

3 Tips for Hitting on Me

2011-08-09T11:25:00.000-07:00

After Brother Healey's testimony Sunday, you're probably looking for some pointers anyway right? Now, I'm not saying this is a guide for picking up on any and all women. All opinions expressed in the following post are expressly those of Sarah A. Murray, and as such, no other females should be held responsible for said opinions. And since I did no conferring with any of my friends about this, if you're female and you disagree with anything said or have more to add, please feel free to comment :)

Tip #1: Sincere Compliments

Anytime a guy starts off with "You have amazing eyes" or "You're beautiful," I'm immediately turned off. Look, I can tell if you think I'm attractive, and if you're flirting with me those are both givens. So let's just...skip the obvious. Plus, not only did you use that line on the last girl you hit on, but how deep in the crevices of your itty bitty little cranium did you have to dig for that one? How about you get to know me, and use some creativity? Plus, you're a goober.

What's a sincere creative compliment you ask? Well, the other night during a conversation a guy told me that I fascinate him. Umm....win. Why? Let me think for a second about things that "fascinate" me: the human mind, anatomy, the artistic process, psychology, dynamics between differing cultures and how they interact, the Creation of the World. The definition of fascinate is "to attract and hold attentively by a unique power, personal charm, unusual nature, or some other special quality." Do I want to be fascinating? Heck. Yes.

Now, let me also insert here that I actually really enjoy being told that I'm beautiful. I don't even mind being told that I look sexy (I think foxy was my favorite...), however, it's all based on the timing of the compliment. I want my beauty to be all encompassing. I pride myself on my intelligence, humor, confidence, integrity, compassion and most importantly my testimony of the Savior. Looks don't even make my list. When you say that I'm beautiful, I want you to think all of me is beautiful. And frankly, if you drop it within 3 minutes of knowing me, I don't care to hear what else you have to say.

Tip #2: Nerves are good

I love when a boy is nervous. Not in a sadistic way, or because I think I'm awesome; I just feel like nervousness is the epitome of sincerity. I love when you're walking around trying to get the gumption to sit next to me, or talk to me, or when you avoid eye contact because you're trying to calm yourself down. Personally, the nervous laugh is my favorite, it's like you're trying to laugh the butterflies out so that you can just be suave. Don't be suave, it's terribly unattractive. Be nervous, it's genuine. You don't even have to say the right thing because just by being nervous you've pretty much secured yourself a date.

Tip #3: Be Transparent
When I like a boy, I try to do everything I can to make sure that he doesn't know that I like him....real Jr. High Sarah. What am I accomplishing with that? The exact opposite of what I want to accomplish, that's what. Basically, it's imperative that non-verbally you're transparent with me.

Example:
Recently I was in a small social setting with a particular boy, and when he would say something funny he would look at me to make sure I was laughing. Once he saw I was, he'd smile really big. I could see that he was giving himself a little pep talk before each comment, and a pat on the back after each corresponding laugh....which was pretty adorable. Plus, it was obvious that he just wanted to see me smile.

He was trying to impress me, not in the egotistical "I killed a shark with my bare hands" kind of way, but in the adorable "I'm hoping my quirks strengths are enough" way. Most of the time I fall for someone in the moments when I see something hidden that they haven't played up because they don't see it as a strength. When they're not trying to be anything. Just know it's a good thing that I know that you like me.

My dear male blogstalkers, I know I give you a hard time a lot, and I apologize for having previously done so. However, I hope that you will accept these tips as a peace offering and go forth, armed with new found knowledge to woo the wonderful women in your life.

To the Boys

2011-08-02T16:12:00.000-07:00

And boys you shall remain until you can follow these simple rules of engagement (no pun intended).

This weekend I went on a double date. And while it was completely out of the blue and extremely thrown together last minute, it was the best date of my life. Why you ask?

Midnight Capture the Flag with Nerf Guns

How could that be more awesome!? That's right, it can't.

And this superbly fantastic date got me thinking about some things. So here we go. Boys, pay close attention.

Dating do: Spontaneity. Last minute is cute, endearing, fun and really exciting. Especially for someone like me who has their life completely mapped out to the minute. I welcome distractions.

However, let me tell you about the experience I had the following day:

Boy is texting me and asks what I'm doing that night. I tell him I'm going to the Bee's game and he says "You should ditch it and come on a date with me." I figure I could be persuaded, so I ask him what we're gonna do and he responds with "Eat food. Whatever you like doing."

What!? No.

Dating don't: Do not play the "ball is in your court" game. When it comes to planning dates, keep the ball. The ball is yours, do not pass it! Remember that you're wooing us. Your job is to make me feel special. My job is to laugh a lot, look/smell really good, continuously touch your elbow/knee/hand, lick my lips and look at you longingly until you want to kiss me. See, the dating game is more like football than tennis. Let's break it down to make sure we all understand:

We start off with our passing game:
You see girl and smile: the ball has been passed
She smiles: She's passed it back!
You approach girl and begin talking:
*Ball is passed back and forth as conversation ensues....*
You ask for her number: Passed the ball
She gives you her number: She passes it back

You now have the ball. Don't give it up. We've moved to the running game: no lateral passes, no fumbling. You are the running back. You cling to that ball like it is your child and you run with it until you cannot run anymore. Now that you've planned the date and she's accepted, we're back to the passing game:

You pick her up: Ball passed
She flirts and is a quality date the entire time....
*important, she still has the ball*
At some point, either vocally or via text, she thanks you and openly encourages a second date: Ball passed back to you.

You now have the ball and we're back to the running game. Now, if you choose, run with it until you can't run anymore.

Women want to feel special. We want to feel like you thought about us. You'll notice that both instances were last minute, in fact, Date #1 had much less time to plan than Date #2 did, but the difference is that he made a decision, and there is something absolutely sexy about a man who makes decisions. It shows confidence. Had Date #2 responded with something like "Don't worry about it, I'll make it worth it. How about 7:00?" I would've laughed, shaken my head and said "Ok :)" (See how I did that with the texting smiley? That's a good sign.)

So what have we learned here?

1. Girls want to feel special
2. Girls expect boys to make decisions
3. Until boys start making decisions, they will remain boys.

Please direct any hatemail to sarah@boysshouldmakemoredecisions.com and have a great day! :)

In case you were wondering...

2011-07-28T16:51:00.000-07:00

It was one of those mornings :)

I Like Boys.

2011-07-22T17:11:00.000-07:00

The other day I had two interesting experiences. Both with close guy friends.

Experience 1:

Me: "In 25 years I have been asked out, actually asked on a date, twice. How does that not make me feel unattractive?"
Friend 1: *Stares in space trying to think of the right thing to say*
I could see his gears working real hard so I just waited patiently. After an extended silence...
Friend 1: Yeah, this is where guys and girls are different.....*shrugs* just don't feel that way.
Me: Yeah......that doesn't work.

Experience 2: Discussing a past relationship

Friend 2: She's the one who distanced herself from me, and that was hard, but now that I'm over her she's being all weird and interested in my life again...
Me: Well, girls have to go through a process. After a breakup they have to distance themselves because we're naturally optimistic creatures and if any semblance of hope remains, she'll just always hold onto it. So we have to vilify you in our minds so that the optimism dies. But once that process is complete she needs to come back to make sure it's really dead. Now that's the tricky part because inevitably feelings come back, and, especially if she's lonely, she may try to talk herself back into it, but ultimately what she wants is closure, it's just going to take her a minute to talk herself into actually letting the door close.
Friend 2: *laughing* What!? .....Girls are weird.

And never has a truer statement been made. We are so weird!!! We're so weird we don't even understand us. It's like freaking Wheel of Fortune in our heads all day long. But instead of varying amounts of money, they're emotions. And the wheel is spun by hormones. Sometimes you get 3 R's at 1,000 bucks a piece, and life is good. And sometimes you hit Bankrupt.

Sometimes I wonder why God made us like this. Especially when men are such simple creatures. With such a distinct difference how have people been getting married all these years!? How do boys even like us with all our complications? Personally, I see nothing attractive about women. We're small and we're always freezing. We shed all over the place, and as I've mentioned, we're pretty needy and emotionally complicated. Who wants that?

Men on the other hand, they got all sorts of good stuff going for them. They're all sorts of warm and comfy. There's nothing better than being the little spoon...am I right? When you're with them you feel all safe and cozy, plus because of their lack of emotion, you get to just throw yours out and they make it all better by just holding you. And regardless of the fact that they can be kinda smelly sometimes, the stuff that they use to cover it up is amazing!!! It just makes you wanna snuggle more.

However, when I talk to my guy friends, they feel the exact opposite. They think of all these really great things about girls...things I can't even remember. So I guess the reason the Lord made us like this is because we're complimentary. And eternally I feel like our purpose is to balance each other out.

The best example I have of this is me and one of my friends. We are very different individuals. To put it in the simplest terms: you know the saying "All or nothing?" She is all, and I am nothing. While she's off overdoing things, I'm over here underdoing it. However, we've realized we both need to be somewhere in the middle, and have started learning from each other.

That's how I feel men and women should be. Both genders have their strengths and weaknesses, neither is better than the other, but we can both learn something from one another. Which is why I like boys so much, because they balance me. I feel less emotional when I'm around them, like the wheel in my head isn't spinning so much, and I can just be calm, for just a minute.

Bachelor #1

2011-07-13T09:09:00.000-07:00

Last night I went in for the nightly feeding of Joplin, and found her keeled over in her wheel breathing extremely shallow. I've seen her in hibernation before, and this wasn't it. I became really worried. She was responsive, but barely. From what I could tell she hadn't touched her food in days and she was pretty skinny. So I quickly Googled how to nurse a malnourished hedgehog back to health, ran to the store to get all the essentials, and came back to care for the little one.

Let's quickly jump back a couple months to my What is the Deal post:

After posting it I got a text from Bachelor #1 praising my blogging talents, and offering an open invitation to discuss the male psyche whenever I wanted. I said I'd take him up on that and call him soon. As those of you who are close to me know, the word "soon" usually means 3 months to never. Finally, Sunday night said Bachelor called and said "I'm sick of waiting for you to call." ...I like boldness. It's hot :) Unfortunately I was at a social event and had to call him back....

Last night:

As I was awake, nursing my sick hedgehog back to health, I decided to call him. We small talked, he'd owned hedgehogs in the past and assured me Joplin would pull through. Then he cut to the chase (again with the boldness...excellently done Bachelor #1) and brought up my blog post. He even had the gumption to ask which of the Bachelors he was....I immediately sang "You're So Vain."

To make a long story with lots of ego-boosting-yet-boring-irrelevant details short, he explained his behavior, and it was pretty much as I suspected. He did like me, but has had a string of bad long-distance relationships, and since he lives out of state he decided to break the chain, a decision I completely agree with.

Now, there are a few reasons for this post:

1. This is what my friend Lauren calls "a win." A boy that I liked, liked me back. And there's nothing better than falling asleep curled up next to your sick hedgehog thinking about that :)

2. I know when a boy likes me....I know when a boy likes me. This is a useful skill.

3. Bachelor #1 increased in sexiness by about 50 points for acting like a man last night. Finally someone who has enough confidence in himself to not only fess up to feelings, but who is willing to be 100% honest about a situation. And because I know that you, sir, are stalking my blog, Congratulations :)

Ladies and Gentleman of the SBSA (Sarah Blog-Stalker Association), I would like to tell you to hold on to hope. Dating, like any other principle of the Gospel, is a simple 3 step process:

1. Pray and tell Heavenly Father what you want, being as specific as possible.
2. Ask what your part in bring this prayer to fruition is. Be willing to bend to His will. After all, He does know what's best for you better than you do :)
3. Act in Patience. Others have said it better than me:

"Let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed." -D&C 123:17

"...Patience [is] far more than simply waiting for something to happen—patience [requires] actively working toward worthwhile goals and not getting discouraged when results [don’t] appear instantly or without effort." - Elder Uchtdorf

The desired outcome may not happen immediately, in fact, it probably won't. But, if you continue to act in faith for however long it takes, there will be wins along the way!
Oh, and Joplin is feeling much better this morning :)

Death and Rebirth...

2011-07-06T16:15:00.000-07:00

In the world of dating, you have Carrots and Doors:

Carrots are fun.They dangle in the back of your mind and you can think about them occasionally, while entertaining the idea of going to play with it at some future date. Then every once in a while, you stretch your little bunny legs and take a shot at getting it down from it's perch. The Carrot is carefree, without commitment and is generally good dating exercise.

Doors are a little more complicated. Doors are to be walked through, they take commitment and dedication, and can only exist when the desire for one is mutual, and intentions are pure. You spend ample time pondering about what lies beyond the door, and weighing your options to see if it's what you really want. And much like Let's Make a Deal, it's a gamble. Door #1 may not contain the shiny new car you were hoping for, leaving you filled with disappointment, and a continued quest for another Door.

Now, while Doors tend to be scarier than Carrots, they're essentially what we're all looking for. Within each of us is a desire to walk through a good Door, and never have to search for another one ever again.

Yesterday I closed a very old Door. The feelings are mature, they've been tried, and tested and they run extremely deep, but have never been expressed by either party. For a long time I've wondered if it even was a Door....it felt like more than a Carrot, and when we were together it felt like more of a Door than I've ever known.... Just recently we were honest with each other. We had both, most certainly, been keeping this door alive - for years - but walking through that door required more than either of us could give, not because we were selfish....in fact it was the opposite. Because we loved each other, we knew that this place we had reached had to be the end. To go further than this would mean the deterioration of everything we had built. So now, here we stood, before this door that had always been envisioned but had never actually manifested, and just moments after it came into being, we chose to let it go...

To be honest, I hurt.

For majority of my adult life, this Door has been in my heart as a place of safety and refuge; a sanctuary I could visit in moments of distress. It was a place of hope that embodied the happiest moments of my life. Something I'd kept sacred and told no one about...and now I feel it slowly fading away as each memory comes back individually to say good-bye. It hurts...differently than it's ever hurt before. It's a mourning for a future that, for 7 years, had been carefully woven together with hope and love, but can never exist.

Fortunately the Lord, in His infinite wisdom, timed the passing of this Door in the middle of a Carrot...a good, light-hearted, fun, extremely casual, catered-to-my-current-needs...Carrot.

It just reminds me that, in all things, death always brings new life.

Drug of Choice

2011-07-01T10:18:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been feeling a little unbalanced, and today I figured out what's been missing.

Two Summers ago I read this book:

It's based on the theory that we're all children of an Infinitely Creative Being, and therefore, we are all inherently creative. However, throughout life, and for differing reasons, we all lose confidence in our creative capabilities. Therefore, we become blocked and believe that "Artists" are people with extraordinary capabilities, and the rest of the masses, us, were simply born without those gifts. This book calls your blocked-artist's bluff and walks you through a 12 week program back to your Inner Artist.

It's phenomenal. If you haven't read it, go buy it right now.

There's a whole section about the defense tactics we use to keep ourselves blocked. These blocks can range anywhere from substance abuse, to creating drama in your life or surrounding yourself with unhealthy people. My drug of choice? Work. If you know me at all, you're probably laughing. Whether it's my job, church calling, or just plain friendship responsibilities, I will make myself so unbelievably busy that I can't possibly think about what's going on in my life. Now, being an introvert by nature, this poses a very large problem for me. In the past, it's lead to what I like to refer to as shut downs, where my brain and body, literally, just stop. It would happen about once every 3-4 months and I would usually just lock myself in my house for 2-3 days and watch movies until I'd regrouped. After reading this book, I realized that I need time to take care of myself so that I can take care of others, and I can prevent these shut downs if I just take that time.

Well, I started "cutting away the fat," if you will, and making sure to take consistent Sarah-time. However, with all this new found RSP stuff going on, my Sarah-time has been replaced with other important things. And today, I realized that I haven't painted in months. So, I'm taking an oil painting class. I've only done some self-taught watercolors, but oils are really what I've always wanted to do, and I'd like to really learn them, so I decided on some classes. In celebration, I have some goodies for you :)

This is my very first painting, it took me the duration of the 12 week program.
It's my interpretation of me.

This is a Mormon Message that was created from my favorite Elder Uchtdorf talk ever on Creating. The link will take you to the full length talk. I highly recommend it :)

Can I just say...

2011-06-24T15:47:00.000-07:00

That I freaking want these shoes?

I don't know what makes Jimmy Choo think he can just charge $1500 for a pair of shoes, but he's got me tempted to sell all my earthly possessions for them.

What is the Deal!?

2011-06-22T21:26:00.000-07:00

WARNING: It's about to get real...and maybe a little sassy. Consider this a satire ;)

So after my "Can I Get a Translator?" post I was talking to one of my buddies from the mission about it and he told me that it made him feel like a total bum. After an apology and further interrogation, I discovered that he had pulled many a stunt similar to those of Bachelors 1-3. I listened intently, put myself in his shoes, and was taken on a grand tour of the male psyche. There were a couple well made points, and when all was said and done I concluded with: "I retract my previous apology. You deserve to feel like a bum."

What is it with boys? What exactly are you looking/waiting for? Because after discussing The Great Dating Famine of 2011 with some of my girl friends, I'm discovering that we good LDS women are continuously being placed into one of two categories by the male half of the species:

Homies and NCMO's

Let's explore shall we?

Homies: This is my personal favorite, because for the last 25 years of my life I have been locked into this category. Seriously, my guy friend quota is filled. Off the top of my head I can come up with 8 guys I could just call to kick it right now. That's enough to fill every night of the week, and if you gave me 5 more minutes, I'm sure I could fill 2. Now, is this really productive to the overall goal of Eternal Companionship? The answer is no. I know it, you know it, and my guy friends know it. So here's the deal, if you're trying to date me and it appears that I've been flirting with you (i.e. lots of texting, multiple invites to things, baked goods, touching of the elbow, witty banter...), it's cause I want you to ask me on a date. Which, in case you didn't know, is code for "Eventually, I would like to make out with you". This isn't an episode of "Paris Hilton's my new BFF." I want to date you.

NCMO's: Honestly, I feel like this may be worse than the Homie category. I have no experience on this topic, as I am morally opposed to them. However, I have friends who do, and if being in an ambiguous friendship/relationship isn't already confusing enough to the emotion-driven female mind, throwing physical intimacy into the mix just creates a hyper-sensitive estrogen cocktail of death...

So can anyone explain to me why it's gotta be this way? Why aren't dates happening? Because myself and plenty other great women I know continuously hear from guys that we're going to be amazing wives and mothers, or we're absolutely beautiful, fun and awesome, but these compliments are never followed up by an invitation for a date. So dear stalkers (especially those of you men who are reading, but pretending you aren't...), will someone tell me what it is we lack? Why exactly are there are so many good women who just aren't good enough?

Seriously....start talking :)

Souls Knit as One..

2011-06-17T23:58:00.000-07:00

I love people. I love everything about them: good, bad, crazy, spiritual, indifferent....I love it all because I find a piece of myself within each element of each individual. There is nothing more difficult, or more rewarding than seeing a human being as the Savior sees them, no matter how long you've known them. The time and energy and most importantly, the love that that takes to see it is immense, but the end result is what the Lord described in 1 Samuel 18:1 where Jonathan's soul is" knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul."

I love that "...and Jonathan loved him as his own soul."

Whenever I read that scripture, distinct images of friends that I have that love for come to my mind. Tonight I had a chance to spend some time with one of those friends... Our friendship is one of beautiful orchestration, not in the utopian sense of the word, but in the truest sense: where the situations that brought us together were of Divine origin, and though heart-wrenching, testified of a Father's love for His children, evidence that safety nets are placed along our way; for those moments when we simply can't walk the straight and narrow anymore, when we're too bruised and worn down, and when our souls are so tired that we can't possibly carry ourselves anymore....our Heavenly Father, in all His infinite wisdom, has placed someone there to catch us. And it's in these moments, the moments where we are either catching, or being caught, that hearts and souls are eternally bound together. These are moments when we become the Savior's hands, reaching out to our fallen brothers and sisters, following His will.

This may not make much sense, but what I'm trying to say, is that I am grateful for not only the Lord's trust, but the trust of friends, who before this world even began, believed in my ability to catch them when they fall. I'm grateful that I get to be an answer to a prayer, and in the process, learn to love a soul as I love my own.

Can I get a translator?

2011-06-14T07:47:00.000-07:00

Now, let's get one thing straight. I, Sarah Murray, have always been one of the guys. I relate with them better. Maybe it's cause I like sports. Maybe it's cause I've always been good at climbing trees, or cause I don't like a lot of make-up and prefer jeans and Converse. Who really knows? The point is, I spend a lot of my time with boys, which means I'm pretty good at understanding what's going on in their heads. Or at least I thought I was.

In the last few months, I've been quite proud of my dating efforts, and have actually been on a few really good dates. However, because of my complete inexperience, I don't actually know what to do after a good first date. I'm not even used to having them....I'm used to being set up and wondering the whole time why anybody would think the two of us had anything in common. However, recently, 3 of my firsts have stuck out as pretty good ones....but they've gotten....weird.

Welcome to The Dating Game...

Bachelor #1: I liked him from the start. Super tall, and funny, with the sweetest, most comfortable personality I've ever encountered. He was sensitive, but not in the super-girly weird way. Just...aware. We had great date, with excellent conversation. Post-date he became super hit and miss. He was either ridiculously alert and attentive, or completely ignoring me. To the point of not even making eye-contact. It was weird, and contact continues to be flakey...at best.

Bachelor #2: We didn't really know each other, but he came highly recommended by some pretty trustworthy people. He was all the right kinds of sarcasm, made me laugh, and definitely not too hard on the eyes. When later asked by friends how the date went, I described it as a four star date (the highest rating in Sarah book of dating). He was attentive, tons of fun, and did all the date-like things. Our interactions continue to be limited, but flirtatious, and when we exist in the same space he generally makes the first move. However, despite having my number, he's never used it.

Bachelor #3: Set up by a mutual friend upon my request, this was possibly the most fun I have had on a date in a long time. He was absolutely hilarious, and from what I gathered, we jived pretty well. I even flirted, like real flirting. If you would've seen it, you would've known I was interested. Impressive right? I thought so. Afterward, I facebook stalked him like I've never done before. I legitimately liked this kid. Again, post-date contact has been limited to sparse texting, and no further dates have even been alluded to.

So in this here dating game, I'm just wondering: Does anyone speak boy? Anyone? Cause I thought I did, but apparently when my emotions are involved, the world stops making sense. And when nothing makes sense I automatically try to make it make sense. So, faithful readers, would you like to know what I've figured out? Two things.

1. In all 3 cases, I just don't know, and there's nothing I can do to know.
2. I'm sick of chasing boys.

Now normally when I like a boy, I will insert myself into his life, and try everything I can to spend time with him, which as you can see, hasn't been especially effective. I'm now 25, and in being so, have grown tired of running around the playground trying to kiss boys. So, here's the conclusion:

I'm kind of a catch. I feel like I got a lot of things going for me, and for that reason, I need to start making boys work for it. I ain't just handing this out like Jolly Ranchers at the Macy's Day Parade. If I'm going to do my part to put out all the right signs, and encourage said male, he's going to have to do his part to make something happen. My friend told me once that if a girl doesn't make him work at least a little bit, he never really appreciates what he has.

So here's to the ever so daunting task of finding a Mormon boy who's willing to man-up.

Deep Waters

2011-06-07T11:09:00.000-07:00

I was thinking today about the Joseph Smith movie they show on Temple Square, and in it there's a scene where Emma is cleaning Joseph up after he's been tarred and feathered. She asks him how he can continually endure, not only their personal trials, but also the responsibility of leading a people who are under constant attack. He responds with "Some of us were just meant to swim in deep waters."

That's kind of how I've been feeling lately. The last few weeks have been some of the busiest of my life and it seems as if all the independent elements of my life (work, church, personal) have all increased in responsibility. At first I was really excited about all the change, and I like responsibility so it was kinda fun. Then I started to realize how much I was actually being asked to do, and felt the burdens settling in. Now, when I start to feel overwhelmed, I feel like all my resources are being diminished and I enter hibernation mode. Literally. I stock up on chocolate and sleep as much as possible while I ride out the storm.

I thought the hedgehogs were appropriate... :)

However, this time I've realized that this survival tactic turns me inward, when in reality, I need to be turning upward, towards the Lord.

I've often marveled at the early Saints and their ability to continually carry on despite perpetually swimming in treacherously deep waters. What I've noticed is that their complete faith in the Atonement of the Savior, and God's perspective of them is what carried them through some of the most terrible conditions imaginable. When we're asked to do tasks that seem impossibly difficult, or time consuming, it is because not only does the Lord know that we are prepared for it, but also that it is time for us to grow. We've been far too complacent for far too long, and it's time to put on our big girl panties and step into the real world. These moments that seem so overwhelming are Heavenly Father's way of saying "Sarah, you think you know how important you are to my work, and that you understand the gifts that you've been working on so hard....but now look at what you can actually do." It reminds me of a CS Lewis quote my friend sent me on the mission:

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."

What a tragedy that I have wasted these opportunities sitting in my room, simply because I am afraid of becoming burnt out. The Lord is accomplishing a great work with each of us individually, and though it hurts, each of those moments bring us closer to being with Him.

Check!

2011-05-09T16:30:00.000-07:00

My good friend and co-worker Tess has recently become my dating consultant. Back in the day, before she was married, she was what I like to refer to as the "pied piper of men." She had skill. So she's got some good advice. One of the most important ones I've collected from her is this:

Throw out the checklist.

The longer we're out in the dating world, the longer our list becomes. We start to realize "I could never date a guy who's passive," "I need someone with direction," "I want him to be outgoing," blah, blah, blah. Let's remember here kids....we're the single ones, which means we don't actually know what we want in a husband. I'm sure if we talked to all our married friends, most of them didn't get "everything they wanted" but they still love their spouses.

Of course we want to keep the most important things, but everything else prevents us from finding the hidden gems of the world. I'm done hearing my friends say "he's just so quiet" or "he watches Family Guy" or "I've never seen him bear his testimony" before anyone's even gone on a date. Well...ya know what? I'm shy in huge groups of people, I can be painfully blunt, and 90% of the time I'm thinking sexual innuendos during a perfectly innocent conversation...but I'm still kinda awesome right? I mean...you are reading my blog.

So Tess has recommended that I throw out my checklist of ridiculousity (real word) until (insert boy) and I are discussing marriage. Which is exactly what I intend to do, because the way I see it...dating isn't marriage. It's dating. Which is supposed to be fun, so why would I complicate it with a checklist? Especially when I've never even had a real conversation with the guy.

I got lists at work. That's good enough.

Mawiage is What Bwings us Togevah Today

2011-04-19T17:14:00.000-07:00

Ok. I get the point....it's time to get married. We all have our own reasons for why we're still single, and with all this added "pressure" I've noticed a few basic coping mechanisms (note: I'm aware these are extreme. Don't send me hate mail):

1. The Panic-ers - their spouse died in the war in heaven, and they are, therefore, doomed to eternal singlehood

2. The Independents - because of the excessive social pressure they rebel against the "norm" and continue in a leisurely recreational lifestyle.

and....

3. The Bitters - since all men are jerks, and all women are crazy, they've simply given up hope on the opposite gender all together.

I personally like to dabble with a light swim in each of these pools from time to time, but, as with all issues that I don't really have an opinion on, I generally try to remove myself from the situation all together. However, with all of this talk of eternal companions flying around how can I not help but wonder where I stand on the subject of marriage?

As a young single Latter-Day Saint, it's nearly impossible to not feel conflicted when the topic comes up. Do I want to be married? Absolutely! I want nothing more than to be a wife and mother, and soon. I love the principle of eternal progression, and the idea of being able to work with the man I love to gain exaltation happens to be my idea of Happily Ever After. But this is the only ordinance of the gospel that deals with the agency of others, meaning I get to continuously throw myself into situations where my heart has the potential to be shattered into a million pieces. Stellar.

On top of that, I was raised to be independent, and to not rely on others for what I could provide for myself, including self-love. If I can't love myself how can I love others, right? Now, I think I got the self-esteem thing down pretty well, but can you, as a single person, honestly admit to me that you love crawling into bed by yourself at night? Yeah, me either. No matter how independent we are, we all need love and companionship, because the Lord made us that way. And that God-given desire for companionship has to constantly defend itself to our egos, who say "I don't need anyone else in my life"; but the truth is, that while my self-worth is not based on the love that I receive from others, I still need it.

I've decided that all of these reasons are why it's considered the "Crowning Ordinance" of the Gospel. Marriage is the institution where the Lord teaches us, not only to love something more than ourselves, but to gain the ability to receive that love from someone else. It requires us to become completely selfless, and is the only ordinance that can give us a glimpse of what it feels like to love others perfectly. But to obtain that divine love, we have to work impossibly hard, and with the word "Eternal" attached to the word "Companion," marriage can seem pretty daunting.

So with all these thoughts, floating around, I've decided that it is, in fact, time for me to get married. Not for me to panic and throw myself at a bunch of men, but time for me to throw away my checklist, ignore those little pangs of fear, and have some freaking fun. So....

Bring it.

The Master's Touch

2011-04-14T12:03:00.000-07:00

As I’ve been reading the New Testament this year I’ve been amazed at all of the healing that Christ did during His ministry. Today I was reading in Luke 6 when Christ heals a man with a withered hand, and I thought to myself “This man already had the faith to be healed; he is there in front of the Savior, waiting patiently, with his ailment, for his turn to feel the Master’s touch.” Then I wondered what it would be like if we could actually see the ailments that the Lord has healed in those around us; our friends, family, mere acquaintances. How differently would we treat them if we only knew their struggles? I personally have had those moments when the Savior’s touch was the only thing that could retrieve me from my own thoughts, and bring me back to light.

As I kept reading I noticed the small things the Savior asked this man to do, and realized that in all of His healings He gives a small command to the person being healed. In this case He asks the man to “Rise up, and stand forth in the midst,” and the man followed. Then, the Savior says “Stretch forth thy hand. And he did so: and his hand was restored whole as the other.” For each of our individual trials, struggles, and ailments – whether they are emotional or physical – the Lord gives us small commands, which bring us to the moment that we will be restored whole, complete. But we must prepare for this moment of perfection, because ultimately it is through these small acts of obedience that we attain it. It is in each of these individual moments that we reach out to the Savior, and seek to feel His touch, even if it is simply the hem of His robe.

Adventures in Craigslist

2011-04-12T11:33:00.000-07:00

So one of our roommates recently moved out, and we've been attempting to find a new one. Unfortunately, the easiest way to do this is through KSL and Craigslist....which can be scary. Here's the latest!

The first email I receive looks like this:

Hi,
Is your room for rent?, Am single female 25 of age, i have a B. S. in computer information systems and technology , i love pets, am looking for clean and nice place that i can stay for some month and if place will be available for year i will be also be ok with that. I will love to hear from you.. if you still have it for rent. Thanks

Gurl Japanese

Ok, so she's foreign, from the context clues, probably Japanese. I can handle that. So I reply with:

Hi!

The room is still available, and you're more than welcome to set up a time to come look at it if you'd like. You can either email me back, or just call me at..... Thanks!

Sarah

Pretty basic, and straight forward right? I got this beauty in response. I would add commentary, but I feel it speaks for itself:

Hi
Thanks so much for getting back to me, I am the neat type, I really appreciate your word, i cloud have love to see the place before making any plan but I really have a lot of things to do as am busy getting same thing down, I like responsible,trustworthy person, But i will be fine if you can tell me about the place and you. A quick biography of myself, I was born and bread in South Dakota, I am a 6 flit, 25 yrs old e. I have a B. S. in computer information systems and technology from Purdue University and. Want to further, so i can have my master in computer information degree's, I am a very responsible and understanding person who like to keep things neat, or as orderly as possible out of habit. I love animals,I don't keep late nights neither i will have overnight guest around, but I am fine if you do, now am in Oklahoma, i believe that having my master Degrees in computer information will be a great thing for my Daddy even when my late mothers still alive always told me that i most to my master after i finish my university,...My Ambition and Work: I was looking to settee down after my Master because I understand that I'll be doing good when i have my master then i can start a good life as I've being told by my Daddy friend who is a business man in Hong Kong. Paying rent on time will not be a problem as i will also be making the rent fee before the month ends, so you shouldn't be bothered about the payment. I must confess am comfortable with the price and I will want to secure the place down before my arrival so I want you to tell me all about the area, as am busy to come over,but the pictures. I also want you to know that I have a car that will be coming over with, and little of my furniture, please let me know if there will be space for that. With all that I've said above, I have told you more about me and my picture of mine will be attach in the next email, Let me how I can go about securing the place down before my arrival as I will be busy from now preparing to see my daddy in South Dakota and let me know if you can take off the ad off the site as I am going to secure the place with a deposit.Feel free to ask me any question and as I've said,I am looking to move in by the availability of the place, but want to secured it now
Thanks..

Born and bread in South Dakota....riiiight.

Damn Straight!

2011-03-30T15:47:00.000-07:00

That's right. I just swore, and let me tell you why.

Recently, my friend Sarah made a post titled "Hot and Chubby" all about how one of her guy friends mentioned to her that he always thought she was hot...but chubby. Not that he had a problem with it, but that was just how he felt. Then she continued on with a pleasant blog entry about how she was sick of being hot and chubby and she just wanted to be hot. So she waltzed her way into a personal trainer, went through all the ins and outs of BMI and figuring out what a healthy weight would be, and finally her and her trainer came to a goal, which left her lean, healthy and with a remaining portion of boobs. It was actually quite motivational.

With that being said, let me tell you a little story. I grew up with an older sister who got the tall, skinny genes all through puberty, a mom who I remember always being concerned about her weight, a dad who was built large, 2 older cousins (who were a lot like brothers) with great metabolisms, 2 aunts who were thin and very attractive, a younger brother who ate everything in sight and packed on muscle, and all the while having little to no education on what being healthy meant. With all of this perspective I had to figure out what my reality was. And the reality was I, Sarah Murray, had a slow metabolism, with my dad's Slavic build, but I was eating like the rest of my high metabolizing family members, all the while absorbing my mom's extreme concern for weight. All of that combined landed me at age 17 and 250 lbs.

Now, luckily, I joined weight watchers and lost about 70lbs, and have, over the last few years, formed healthy habits which have resulted in losing another 20lbs. Now I say all this not to gain praise, or to brag, but to tell you that I am downright SICK of caring about my weight!

Since my victorious 90lbs do you know how much I've actually celebrated my weightloss? Zero.

I lost an entire 5th grader and never congratulated myself. In fact, even after all that, I mentally beat myself up everytime I ate a piece of cake, and still continue to do so. I ask myself why I can't have self control, and then I tell myself that I'm never going to be skinny, I can never wear a swimming suit in public again, boys will never ever like me, which means I'll never get married, so I'll never have sex and I'll live my life as an angry, lonely old fat woman. Then I eat a the whole pint of Chunky Monkey. Cause that's what I am. A chunky monkey.

Little irrational? Yeah. I know. And I am tired of it. I am sick of wanting to be thin. I just want to feel good about my choices.

I went to this revolutionizing presentation the other night about how the media has screwed up our perceptions of what a "normal" woman should look like, and it's brainwashed us to think that "thin" and "beautiful" equal "happiness" and "success." In this presentation was a study about how the better you feel about yourself, the better choices you make. Loving yourself = Healthy Choices. Hating yourself = Downward spiral. You should check their website out. I had a lot of mini revelations, and just in the last few days I've realized that the more I've loved myself, the more I've loved my choices, which in turn, makes me love myself more. Isn't that amazing!?

So to sum this up: Hot and chubby? Damn Straight ;)

Adobe CS3

2011-03-23T06:34:00.000-07:00

Somewhere along the way I became the Graphic Designer for our office, but was completely unequipped to do so. So I did some research and some bribery and my roommate's brother was kind enough to gift me his outdated, portable version of Adobe CS3. This includes, but is not limited to: Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign, Page Maker, Fireworks, Light Room and Dreamweaver. I don't know what most of those are, but doesn't Dreamweaver sound awesome!?

I'm like a kid on Christmas.

Oh yeah, and it's my birthday :)

And now a word....

2011-03-04T15:08:00.000-08:00

....about my red hair.

I love it. But due to it's continuous fading it will be recolored tomorrow. Stay tuned!

This is How I Feel Today

2011-02-28T15:32:00.000-08:00

Music Moment II

2011-02-18T16:01:00.000-08:00

Two concerts in one week!? I've completely lost it... or maybe I've found it, I'm not really sure yet.

This time is just as good as the last. I promise :)

1. Allred - There should be a law about how many crush-worthy factors you can package into one person, but since there isn't, it's completely impossible not to fall in love with John Allred. First off, he's not just attractive, he's beautiful, and his voice is so soft and smooth that there's no choice but to close your eyes and sway. Plus he plays his own instruments - the piano and the guitar - and happens to be one of the most genuinely kind people you've ever met. Those of you who live in Salt Lake, he's local, which adds to his sheer awesomeness. Those of you who aren't, it gives you yet another excuse to come visit.

2. He is We - The band I bought the tickets for. My roommate introduced me to them a few months back and I fell in love with her voice. There's something about her sound that is completely honest. However, I fell in love with her acoustic demo album, and her new one is good, but I feel like they've almost beefed it up too much, making it too "poppy." Which would explain her giant following of teenage girls. Anyway, in the words of my friend Eric: "Do you like the sound of angels?" Then download her album.

3. lady danville - Ho. Ly. Crap. I showed up to the concert not having a clue who these guys were, and to be honest, not really caring. But I am officially in love. Thanks to these guys I've realized I like my music like I like my men: quirky and fun. Their music is so simplistic that it allows you to feel a full spectrum of emotion. One song you feel like you're kickin it on the beach enjoying a perfect summer day with your friends, and the next you're driving down a country road, reminiscing of past relationships.

Independently they all have very different voices, but when they launch into the most flawless 3 part harmony you've ever heard, you can't help but swoon even just a little bit. Their music is fun, full of emotion, and blended with so many different inspirations that it would be unjust to box them into a genre. Plus I'm a sucker for any man who plays the drums with his hands.

Download their album ($4.95 on amazon.com), and then spread the word. There was so much awesomeness Jamee licked her own arm to apply their temporary tattoo.

The end.

Music Moment

2011-02-15T11:23:00.000-08:00

Alright, I know I've been Jesus-ing it up for the last couple posts, but we're gonna break and embrace my hippie side for just a moment.

Last night I went to a concert at Kilby Court ( a very small, uncharming, but excellent venue in Salt Lake), and encountered 3 very stellar bands, which I will now introduce you to.

1. Netherfriends - (Cue barefoot, tree-hugging hippie excitement) This guy decided the start a 50 state 50 song project, and I got to be part of his Utah portion. He's basically travelling all 50 states, performing and writing a song in each one. I was doing some research and learned that many other bands (much larger named ones) have attempted this and failed. However, his purpose is not to write a song about each one, but to write a song based on how each state inspires him. Much better I think. Anyway, I fell in love the minute they began setting up and I saw that their equipment consisted of a drum set (the drummer carried the tambourine around his neck), and a milk crate with a large pole sticking out of the middle surrounded by pots & pans, and a cymbal. Awesome.

They were phenomenal. Please check them out.

2. The Neighbors - Not as hippie-esque. Just amazing. It's a brother/sister duo where the girl plays the bass, the piano, and sings... sometimes all at the same time. The guy drums, plays the keyboard, and sings...again, sometimes all at the same time. Crushes on both of them. Listen to them, buy their stuff. The End.

3. Koo Koo Kanga Roo - A children's group that somehow went main stream and have opened for bands such as Reel Big Fish, and Aquabats. Crazy. The music...is children's music, educational songs put to crappy Electronica. However, the life changing happens because of the live show. These guys are not only freaking hilarious, but awesome performers. They just know how to work a crowd. To describe it to you would not only be difficult, but you'd think I'd recently encountered some heavy drugs, therefore, I will only reveal the most awesome portion of the evening.

They sang 2 songs back to back. In the first, they taught us Pirate dance moves, and in the second, they taught us Ninja dance moves. After the brief instruction, they asked us to choose which we were (I was, of course a Ninja. Who honestly thinks Pirates are better?) and separated us into our groups. We then had an all out Ninja vs. Pirates dance battle. ......need I say more?

To conclude, this was possibly one of the best Valentine's Days of my life. Thank you Eric Cockayne and friends revolutionizing my world.

Let the Weak Say 'I am Strong'...

2011-02-08T09:33:00.000-08:00

It's been forever, and there's so much on my mind, so I'll just go with the most prevalent of all the thoughts:

The Savior loves each of us with an incomprehensible amount of pure, unconditional love. It's a brand of love that has never come from any human I've ever associated with, and have never felt anywhere else other than in my quiet moments of prayer and pondering. And what's even more amazing still, is that this love comes even when I am broken down in the depths of despair because I know that I have let Him down. I've somewhere along the way stumbled and fallen off the path back to Him, and I'm so broken and bruised that I feel like I can't possibly make my way there. But He always appears, full of love and forgiveness, and without question, picks me up and carries me the rest of the way. He heals my wounds, no matter how deep. And fills me with peace and comfort. He lifts my burdens, calms the storms of life, and softens the harsh blows of the adversary.

He is my Redeemer, my Savior and Protector. No matter the degree of my mistakes, or the depth of my pain, He can and will always make it better. He is constant in His forgiveness, and ever patient with me. And for that I will forever serve Him.

Is God a Megalomaniac?

2011-01-06T18:03:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna warn ya, this one's long.

Yesterday my friend posted a link to a Christian blog, where the topic was this question. I was intrigued and killing some time in the airport so I thought I'd give it a little read. It was an interesting question to say the least, but I felt like his explanation had a few holes so I thought I'd give my own rebuttal :)

Before I start I want to lay a foundation of a few basic principles that may seem common knowledge to you with LDS backgrounds. However, to others, it may not be, and they are what I felt Piper was lacking in his post, and what I'll be basing mine on.

1. The Godhead consists of 3 entirely separate beings. They are one in purpose and in works, but physically there is God the Father, the Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost - a personage of Spirit.

2. God is literally the Father of our Spirits, and loves us as such - comlpetely unconditionally.

3. He, as an infinitely loving being, wants nothing more than to have us live with Him again. This is actually what He lives for. His purpose is to bring to pass our immortality.

So now my answer to our question: Is God a megalomaniac? No. In fact, I believe He is quite the opposite. I believe that He is never actually glorifying Himself. But He is only asking us to glorify Him. If this is the case some could still argue that He is feeding His own ego. Through all of Piper's jumping around in his post I feel like the essence of his question lies in his opening sentence

"Why [is] God’s relentless self-exaltation in all that he does is the most loving way for him to be?"

Well, I spent the greater portion of my 5 hr flight pondering and studying this out, and I feel a lot of his questions are answered with an understanding that Christ and God are separate, and when gloriying each other, are not actually glorifying themselves (I actually have a couple other theories involving word definitions and such, but we'll save that for a later date). But as to why God asks us to glorify Him, here are my thoughts:

Our Heavenly Father is just that, our Father. He wants us to come home to Him, and in order to do that we must be pure and clean, but we are fallen beings. As humans we make mistakes, no matter how much we try. Therefore, a plan had to be laid so that we could become clean. A sacrifice, an infinite sacrifice, had to be made on our behalf. God loved you and me so much that He was willing to sacrifice the only perfect Son that He would ever have, so that all of His children who wanted to return to Him, could become clean. If we never show gratitude for this sacrifice, for the Atonement, how will we ever be able to fully utilize it and understand what it has done, and can continue to do for us? If we don't wake up each morning and thank the Lord for His sacrifice, and recommit ourselves to trying just a little bit harder that day, how will we ever become pure? Is it possible for us, as imperfect beings to fully appreciate and understand something without ever experiencing it? And is it possible for us to remember and feel something so deeply if we never remind ourselves or share with others what it means to us? No, it's not.

This is why our Heavenly Father asks us to glorify Him, to thank Him, and to pray in the name of the Savior - so that we remember this ultimate sacrifice. He knows us so well that He knows we would forget, and as we forgot we would slip away from Him eternally. And the only thing in this universe the Lord wants is us back in His arms. Therefore, the more we remember and glorify Him, the closer we are to Him. And what parent doesn't want to be close to their children?

I'm sorry this is so long, but if anything I hope you all leave knowing that I know the Atonement is real. Christ is my Savior. He died so that I can make it back to my Father in Heaven, and I know that the more I pray and thank the Lord for His sacrifice, the closer I feel Him in my life.

Oops

2011-01-04T11:18:00.000-08:00

The texting conversation of my morning:

Aubree: Whatchya doing for lunch?

Me: Nothing. Wanna go out?

My Boss: Are texting personal messages at work?

That's correct. My phone thought it would be funny to ask my boss out this morning. Thank you phone.

Best Ever

2010-12-29T14:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday one of my friends noticed my mood was a little more solemn than usual and due to the environment I thought it best to just throw him a lame excuse about being busy at work. Later on though, I texted him to thank him for noticing and inquiring. To which he responded by asking if there was anything he could do, to let him know. Then, almost randomly, he told me how good of a mother and wife I would be, and how amazing he really thought I was.

I, of course, cried my eyes out...and am still misting a little bit remembering it. For some reason that was exactly what I needed to hear. I've realized that of all the things in life, the only thing I've ever really wanted is to be a loving companion and mother. I feel like the biggest influence I could ever have on the world would be to raise a righteous generation of caring, loving, understanding individuals who love the Lord and doing His work more than anything else. I can judge where I'm at myself, but it's always good to hear from a man (especially one that I respect highly) that I'm headed in the right direction.

Best compliment ever.

Pansy

2010-12-16T13:38:00.000-08:00

Yup. That's me.

Our story begins with Sarah, the good friend, playing matchmaker:

In an attempt to set up my two good friends, Brian and Jamee, I planned a Christmas Cookie making double date at my house. Pretty nice of me right? I thought so. However, the other half of the double (me) was dateless. Now this may look like a dilemma, but it was, in fact, completely intentional. I've decided that if boys are going to be dumb, and not ask me on dates, then I was going to take my dating life into my own hands.

So I picked a boy that I was actually interested in, and decided to call him. It went a bit like this:

Boy: Hello?

Sarah: Hey [boy] it's Sarah, What's up!?

Boy: Oh hey! Just marinating some steaks.

[Witty banter about steaks, marinating and the like]

Sarah: Well I was just calling to see what you were doing Friday night?

Boy: Friday? Ummm...... Oh yeah! We're having a movie night at my friend's house. But it's pretty flexible. Why what's up?

[Close up of Sarah's panic-stricken face. Music fades to silence and all we can hear is a solitary heart beat growing steadily louder and faster]

Sarah: Oh. Well.....We're having a cookie-making party....... just a couple people over to decorate Christmas cookies.

Boy: A Cookie making party? That sounds excellent! What does that entail?

[Sarah closes her eyes shut and fakes bashing her head off the counter followed by a calm explanation of a cookie making party.]

I'll spare you all the pain and embarrassment of the 3 minutes that followed, and suffice it to say I'll never make fun of boys for being scared to ask girls out again. Fortunately the Lord knew I was a really big baby and gave me a second chance. Jamee realized that she had promised her brother she'd go to a concert Friday night, so she needed to move it to Saturday. Time for redemption. This time I used the less frightening texting option (I know... still lame, but I gotta work with baby steps here). It looked a bit like this:

So there's kind of this long story involving me trying to set two people up with a cookie party, then things going awry and it somehow becomes a double date on a different day but I'm dateless, and confused... so I'll spare you the gory details and ask if you're by chance available for a cookie making date tomorrow night? :D

Yeah, it was still a pansy asking out, but.... I did it. And I went on the date, and it was fun.

Joplin

2010-11-20T10:56:00.000-08:00

There are some interesting scenarios I feel are specific to hedgehog owners. For those of you who don't know, hedgehogs hibernate when the temperature drops below 70. And for those of you who still don't know, Utah dropped below 70 in September. So I did my research and discovered that if you let domesticated hedgies go into hibernation, they don't have enough "storage" to make it through the winter. So basically you just have to keep them warm. I went down to the pet store and bought a little tank warmer to help her out, as I was moving into the basement of my new house.

Last night I got home about midnight and went to go play with her a bit, as that's when she's at her height of playfulness, to discover her tank warmer had quit working, and she'd entered hibernation mode, which for thos who've never seen that, looks like this.

Not so friendly right? So what does this mean for Sarah? Instead of going to bed, I spend the night warming up my hedgehog. I picked her up (very cautiously), wrapped her in a hoodie, and turned on the blow dryer. By the time she'd warmed up and calmed down a bit I was super tired, so I picked her up in the hoodie, climbed into bed, cuddled up, and fell asleep.

I woke up at 3am to her snuggling up to my feet. Hibernation mode deactivated.

Eyebrows Revisited

2010-11-11T10:50:00.000-08:00

In a previous post I mentioned the compliment I got from a random girl about how magnificent my eyebrows were. Well, I had the waxed for them first time in probably 6 years. It took about 15 minutes, but the result is pretty spectacular I would say!

Oh yeah, and I should probably mention... my hair is red.

That is all.

It's true. It. Is. True.

2010-11-08T16:01:00.000-08:00

In my recent move I acquired a new roommate by the name of Kristine. I met her through a mutual friend, and we were instantaneous friends. She's cool, normal, and generally considered one of the guys....sounds just like me! :)

A brief background of Kristine: she's 23, recently divorced, and hasn't been active in the church since she was about 15. Due to a series of events she decided a couple months ago to try to get back to church...with no real testimony or idea of why. Basically, I was taking a huge chance on being roommates with her, but I felt very impressed that it was something that I needed to do. So I took the leap, and made the move.

Yesterday, church was phenomenal. I haven't felt the Spirit, or received revelation like that in a while. My emotions were very close to the surface and the Spirit was booming the whole time. And it wasn't just me who thought so. After Relief Society quite a few people expressed the same feelings. So when we got home and Kristine said "I'm starting to feel like this whole thing is a lie." I was slightly taken aback.

I spent the next hour with her in our kitchen discussing the experiences she'd had thus far, what she remembered the Spirit feeling like, how she can feel it again, and comparing my conversion process to what she was currently going through. At the end I actually felt pretty defeated about the whole thing... like I hadn't gotten through at all, and that maybe the doubt was already too deep. So I finished up by just saying "Kristine, I know that you may not know if it's true, but I do. Regardless of how you feel now, you'll know, because this is the Lord's gospel, and He will tell you." She just got really silent and we went off our separate ways.

This morning while I was at work I got a text message from her that said "It's true. It. Is. True." Immediately I felt the familiar joy of the Spirit starting to flood my soul. I texted her back and said "Please tell me we're talking about the Gospel." And of course she was. All day today I've felt like I felt on the mission. There is no better feeling than the one you feel when someone learns for themselves that they are a child of an Eternal Father who loves them perfectly, no matter their mistakes. To know that we're not alone in this life, and we never ever have to make a decision on our own ever again, that there is eternal life after this, a life that we can have with our families...is the most beautiful gift that has ever been given.

I can't wait to get home so that I can hug her... I've been on the verge of happy tears all day long. I'm so grateful for the Atonement, and what it's done for me. The Savior's love has literally transformed me, and now I have the chance to share it with others. What greater gift is there?

Georgia on my Mind

2010-11-02T11:26:00.000-07:00

Just sitting at work today and the Michael Buble version of "Georgia on my Mind" came on, and I couldn't help but just make a little post. I'm coming up on 2 years that I've been home, and I promise that there is not one day that goes by that I don't miss it. It's not just the nostalgia of my mission either. It's the feeling of Georgia. Ray Charles knew what he was talking about. There aren't words to describe the hospitality, the sunsets, or the way you feel as you zip along winding roads through the kudzu covered trees. It has it's little quirks, but it remains forever one of the most beautiful places I have ever been.

Let the Stabbing Begin

2010-11-01T11:25:00.000-07:00

Ok, it's been way to long to update you on everything that's happened since August, so I'll give you the abbreviated list:

1. Went to my greenie's wedding in Seattle, her brother became enamored with me, it boosted my self-esteem, I haven't heard from him since.

2. My dad came with me to the ward camp-out at Lava Hot Springs. AWESOME. He played kickball with us, and we were spotlighted at Ward Prayer. My life has never been so amazing. I'll probably blog about my dad soon :)

3. Visited my mission. The goodness of this cannot be described, also will soon have a post about this.

4. Lots of changes at work: New billing person, new receptionist, new programs to implement, big promotional event coming up all equals really busy.

5. I'm moving. Right down the street from my current location, but still obnoxious, and leading to more busyness :)

So. There you have it, the update. But, what I really wanted to talk about is acupuncture. I haven't been sleeping lately, and no matter what I do I can't fall asleep, or if I do, I can't stay asleep, and I don't wake up feeling, by any means, refreshed. With all that going on, and a chaotic schedule, what's a girl to do? Acupuncture.

So I found an acupuncturist, a cute little old Asian man who tells me things I already know like "you think too much," "stop trying to control everything," and "you work too much." Thanks Dr. Zou, I know :)

The good news is. It's working! I'm sleeping like a little baby and waking up feeling super rested. And, as a side effect, I'm not freaking out about stuff, I'm way calmer, and much happier. So in that case, Bring on the stabbing!

One Of The Boys...

2010-08-03T09:22:00.000-07:00

My newly adopted theme song

INFJ!!

2010-08-02T15:23:00.000-07:00

This weekend I went up to Seattle to be a bridesmaid for one of my mission companions (pictures to come), and the whole crew started throwing out random letters to explain weird things they did. Very strange. Anyway, it's the Myer's-Briggs personality test, which was originally created by Carl Jung, and later adapted to be more encompassing.

So, being the intrigued individual I am, I took it and as it turns out, I'm an INFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging). Apparently only 1% of the population are INFJ's and we had 3 of them all sitting at the table. We later held a convention.

There's a book called Please Understand Me II that explains in detail all the different elements, but you can read about your type pretty extensively online. It's probably one of the most accurate, and eye-opening personality tests I've taken. So! If you want to give it a go, here's the link to the test.

And it also gives you your "perfect match" apparently I work best with ENTPs, so if you know any tall nerdy ones, send em my way ;)

Trying to remain calm...

2010-07-27T07:48:00.000-07:00

I lost my phone last night. Quite frankly, I'm going through withdrawls. : |

You Know Life is Good When...

2010-07-23T16:37:00.000-07:00

...You love your job. Today's reason? Water fights.

I have nothing on my mind but an endless list of responsibilites to accomplish as I walk around the corner into a jet stream of cold water to the face. Flipping instantaneously into survival mode, I propel myself to the therapy room to procure my own water bottle as means of retaliation. Patients stare blankly as I, dripping wet, rush to find the one with the longest range. I smile politely and say "I'll be with you in just a moment," then race back to the front. Stopping at the corner to check the reflection in the picture on the wall, I see Dr. Vance's face peeking through the doorway to Dr. Adams' office, weapon at the ready. Understanding what needs to be done, and ignoring the warning yells from the coworkers behind me, I ninja roll the gap to the front of Chris's desk, dodging enemy fire. Just as I suspected, Dr. Vance is paralyzed by laughter at my complete lack of skill, leaving him unguarded! From my newly found perch I take advantage of the moment and fire several well aimed shots to the face. Realizing he's in danger Vance flees for the break room slamming the door behind him. Recalling my extensive military training I place myself as close to the wall as possible, blending in with my surroundings and prepared for any sudden movement. As the door slowly creeps open my bottle, skillfully positioned at eye level, temporarily blinds the assailant, but not enough as he lunges forward with an entire cup of freezing cold water, paralyzing the left side of my body. At this moment I know I have lost the battle. But like Dr. Claw, I will not be defeated!!

Next time Gadget! Next Time!!!

For the First Time Ever...

2010-07-20T11:18:00.000-07:00

I was told I have amazing eyebrows. Strange. I've always been a little self-conscious of them actually, but last night at Family Home Evening the girl sitting next to me told me that they were, in fact, amazing. Later, in the car, my roommate told me that she agreed upon their awesomeness. Apparently my hair says "I'm spunky!" and my eyebrows say "And what're you gonna do about it?" I'm not really sure what that means. "I'm spunky and if you tell me different I'll punch you in the face." Who knows. I have good eyebrows.... I like it.

New Addition

2010-07-18T08:58:00.000-07:00

I feel like God, in an attempt to get me married, has put an overflow on my maternal hormones. I don't know if those actually exist, but something's definitely flowing. I was getting lonely in my office at work, so I bought a betta fish. It subdued the surge for about a week, then they came back much stronger than before. Mostly when I was at home because the fish lived at work, leaving me nothing to nurture.

My roommates vetoed a dog, I'm allergic to cats, rats also vetoed, and guinea pigs, mice and hamsters all lack intelligence. So I bought a hedgehog. Her name is Joplin, as in Janis. Enjoy!

Turning the Leaf!

2010-06-29T08:24:00.000-07:00

So lately I've been making some life changes. I've hit one of those monk-like moments where I just feel the need to simplify, get back to the basics, and find my inner....me. Here's the list so far:

1. Back on goal to loose weight. For those of you who knew me back in the day, I've lost quite a bit from my original weight, but I've never quite hit my goal. I'm officially back on target (after 6 years) and 12 pounds closer!

2. I deleted Facebook. And there was an uprising. I have a list of reasons, most of which are personal and boring, so I'll spare you the details. The thing that suprised me most was that the people who tried to stop me are the people I talk to on a fairly regular basis...or live right down the street....or my mom. I now feel disconnected from the social networking life...and quite frankly, I like it. I've never felt more liberated. Well, except when I'm naked. But that's a given ;D

3. I'm taking a 3 month dating sabbatical. Again, lots of personal reasons, but thus far it's been smooth sailing!

That's my list. I figure if I get anymore than that my brain might explode due to a perfectionist complex I happen to have. We'll see if I can keep it up. Looking hot in a swim suit and not dating for a whole summer. . . ? Bring it!

Takes Me Away...

2010-06-21T13:58:00.000-07:00

That's right. I'm talking about sailing :) If I were more technologically adavanced I'd actually cue the song to come up when you read this...but I'm not.

So two of my friends recently bought a sailboat, just a little catamaran that you can realistically only fit 4 people on...3 is probably safer. It looks similar to the one at the right, and that thing that they're doing there...the whole floating in the air thing? Yeah, I did that. It was amazing!

Basically I've never felt more free in my life. Just imagine: 7pm, perfect summer evening with a light breeze. The sun is gradually getting lower and lower, and you're flying through the water, powered by nothing but the wind. Your feet are on the edge of the boat while you're suspended over the edge, wind blowing in your hair while you drag your fingers through the lake with no destination but the sunset.

It really must be what heaven is like...

Becoming a Masochist

2010-03-30T19:16:00.000-07:00

Not what you're thinking! Dirty minds.... ;)

So a couple months ago I decided I needed to be nicer to my body. So I chucked out all my processed stuff, loaded my diet with mostly produce, and bought a gym membership. At about the same time my friend bought P90x, which I was a little jealous about because I hear it's the best way to get in shape.

So to make a long story short, I started doing it with his mom. That's right, I'm doing P90x with a 65 yr old woman, and she rocks it! Basically it works on the philosophy of muscle confusion. It changes your workout everyday, and then changes that every 3 weeks so that your body never gets used to what you're doing, which means you never hit a plateau. And if you follow the workout and the nutrition plan exactly, you'll have your dream body in 90 days.

Now I'm already eating pretty healthy, and I'm not so worried about having my dream "beachbody," I just want to be as healthy as I can be. With that being said, after 16 days of the most intense workout I've ever done in my life, I'm completely addicted. It's a 100% love/hate relationship. I dread it as much as I look forward to it, and while I'm doing it I want to cry as much as I want to do one more rep.

And the best part? It's getting easier! Plus I'm still sore after every workout, which means it's working. And when I'm done I feel more proud of myself than I've ever been. Ever. My life is so good.

But don't worry. I still eat cookie dough out of the tub.

Just not as often :)

Let's Be Happy I'm Alive

2010-03-28T00:40:00.000-07:00

When my birthday happens I like to make it a week long celebration, and this years has by far been the best. Here are the highlights:

Monday: Recieved 3 birthday cards in the mail, one from my roommate.

Tuesday: Had "Happy Birthday" sung to me in staff meeting, whispered to me by a Jehovah's Witness (love ya Kel!), and texted to me 25 different times, was told I was one day hotter, recieved homemade butternut squash soup, had an amazing hair day, went to dinner with 2 of my best friends, got Zach Efron as a gift, partied with most of my favorite people at Iceberg, got a free black raspberry-coconut-cheesecake shake, and ended the evening with a fabulous conversation with a close friend I don't see often.

Wednesday: Went to dinner with the office, talked my boss into 7 rolls of sushi, watched "17 Again", stayed up all night talking and cuddling with my roommate.

Thursday: Tried on dresses and realized my normal size was fitting looser, did yoga with a close friend and mom, had a date with my married best friend while her husband was at class

Friday: Had a great day at work, went to a Brazilian concert with my roomie, enjoyed delicious fresh fruit flan.

Saturday: Slept in!!!!!!!!!, learned to use a sewing machine, sewed one single quilt block (it looked freaking amazing!), went shopping with a new friend, found an adorable dress for $7, threw a smashing mocktail party with my favorite people.

All in all....a successful week :)

Look....

2010-03-11T12:06:00.001-08:00

I don't know who the guy is that decided that putting the food network on at the gym was a good idea.... but it's not. So to combat said conspiracy, I put this on my planner:

Who's laughing now funny man?

The Junk in the Trunk!

2010-03-09T19:28:00.001-08:00

So I had the first weekend off that I've had in a long time this past weekend, and my roommate, Trista, and I went to a Belly dancing festival.

At first I was a little disappointed, cause I'd sacrificed $7 in the name of roommate bonding, and a potentially awesome cultural experience, and it was kind of like witnessing group therapy for women in the midst of a mid-life crisis. Frightening. But then it got better and there were groups that had travelled and had been doing it for years and they were actually quite amazing!

Belly dancing is interesting for a couple reasons:

It's completely mesmerising! You can't take your eyes off the dancer. All the flashy jingly stuff moving around real fast. Impossible to try and hold a conversation if you're like me and distracted by shiny objects.
Somehow it seems to encompass everything feminine. I'm not gonna lie, the whole time I just kept thinking "Man I want to do that!!!" It just looks like what I'm supposed to do. I was given curves, and by golly I'm supposed to shake them!
I don't even know what's attractive anymore...

The more that I watched these women parading around with exposed stomachs I started to realize that what we think is attractive is completely relative. There were pregnant women, older woman who had "lost their figure," ridiculously skinny girls, and everything in between. And let me tell you (Note: reading may not be suitable for the naturally skinny), the oh-so-coveted long torso-ed rail thin bodies looked absolutely ridiculous belly dancing. In fact, it was almost gross.

There was a group of high school aged girls who danced and though they were all amazing, most of the girls were really skinny and it was awkward to watch them. But on the end, there was a girl wasby no means fat, but she had a little extra on her and she looked fabulous doing it. Like she was meant for it.

And this theme continued on through the whole thing. The dancers that looked the most natural and the most beautiful were healthy, but not toned. When they moved you could see muscle tone, but there was also a small layer of padding. It just looked....like we're supposed to look.

It was quite the eye opening experience. I've redesigned my ideal body in my head, and vowed to take belly dancing classes from now into eternity :)

Married People!

2010-02-07T11:04:00.001-08:00

Here I will pause from my Italy updates to interject a brief thought.

I love married people. I know I say that I don't, and I complain that my friends get married and then they fall off the face of the earth...but in reality I like them. A lot.

Yesterday I had lunch with my old roommate Julianna. We only lived together for about month, and then she got married, but being the only 2 normal people, we bonded pretty quickly. In our conversation, I invited her and her husband Jeff to an improv show that was happening last night. Apparently she was attempting to dodge some other plans, so they gladly accepted.

After the show, we stood outside talking for a really long time. We were all freezing and Jeff kept insisting that we should just go back to the apartment, and he'd make me a smoothie, but I insisted that I really needed to go home and go to sleep. And then we continued talking. After 3 similar conversations, we finally decided it was time to leave, and went to our cars.

While I was driving home I thought about how much I really liked Julianna and Jeff. Then I started thinking about how much I really like other of my married friends. I've spent a pretty good amount of time with them, and they're all amazing. Really what it comes down to, is that I have amazing friends. And they all married amazing people, because none of them are actually stupid enough to marry a lame person. So in reality while it feels like you're losing a friend everytime one of them gets married, you're actually gaining another great friend!! And to top it off you're just immediately grandfathered into this friendship because all your friend talks about is how completely amazing you are. No effort required. I love it.

So there you have it. I love when my friends get married. In fact I'm excited to get married so that my friends can all have a new best friend.

I love married people.

Episode 3: Christmas in Pisa

2010-01-10T09:53:00.000-08:00

I love Christmas. There's that special feeling that you get as it gets closer that you don't get any other time of the year. The time that you get to spend with family, and the chance to refelct on the Saviour is amazing. And as much as you try to "make everyday like Christmas," it's impossible. Because no matter what, when you wake up on Christmas morning, it feels different.

This year when my roommates put up the Christmas trees and started all the decorations, I got sad that I would be in Italy away from everyone. I did it on my mission, but there was a different kind of Spirit there. I had important work to do, and I was spending everyday in the Christmas Spirit anyway. So I was a little worried that this year I would be missing that special feeling that comes with Christmas. However, it will go down as one of the fondest Christmases yet!

On Christmas Eve, we hopped a train to Pisa. There was an older couple (The Snows) that I knew that were serving their mission there, and when I emailed them they were excited to have "kids" for Christmas, so they invited us over. We got there at about 8:30pm, and got a taxi to their house. There was a warm welcome from the Snow's, and the 2 young Elders that were participating in the Christmas Eve celebration. We were fed, had a small Christmas message from the Elders before they headed home, and given warm beds (I got a couch and Randy an air mattress, but comfortable nonetheless).

On Christmas Morning we woke up, had breakfast, read Luke 2 and talked about the Atonement. Then the Snows had a full day planned of meeting with different families in the Branch, so we gladly tagged along with them.

Pisa is one of the places in Italy where they have a pretty large army base. We visited a small family there with 3 little boys and brought them some Christmas presents. Randy and I have both agreed that this was what made Christmas like home for us. The kids were showing us everything they got, and letting us play with them. I introduced Randy to Bakugons and he instantly became an excited 7 yr old. We built some Lego monsters, and then ended it all with a Nerf gun fight. Randy won... but only because mine broke. Jerk.

We visited a few more people and then came home for dinner. The Snows were calling their kids while Randy and I ate dinner. In the middle of our food Randy got up and came back to the table with a box and a note with my name on it. Stinker. So I smiled and went to my bag and came back with a wrapped present.

In one of the many wanderings around the random alleys of Naples we found this soap shop. The man who worked there had spent a great deal of time apprenticing under an older woman in London, and when he came home to Italy he taught his sister, who opened up this shop. It was just a small shop tucked away in the depths of Naples, but there was a magic to the whole shop. I immediately fell in love, and Randy had gotten me some of the soap.

We also found a "Temporary Store" where they set up for a short period and sell random things at pretty reasonable prices, including beautiful Italian silk ties. There was one that Randy loved, but wouldn't buy, so I bought it for him and wrapped it up.

It was a quiet, really uneventful Christmas, but there was a special spirit about it. The gifts were small and relatively cheap, but meaningful. There was thought put into them, and they were bought with pretty much the only money we had to spare, money we needed to survive. Kinda like A Christmas Carol :)

Episode 2: Napoli!!!

2009-12-29T13:15:00.000-08:00

Alright, Episode 2!

Sunday night in Rome Randy and I realized we were leaving the next day and had no idea where we were going. So on a whim we decided on Naples, known to the locals as Napoli! Which is how I prefer to say it. It fits the atmosphere....but it just doesn't have the same effect in text. I'll tell you in person next time and you'll see =)

So Monday morning we went down to the train station got our reservations, and were on our way. Napoli is the birth place of Pizza, and they're very proud of it. And they should be, it was probably the most amazing thing I've ever eaten. The people there were amazingly kind, but I've never been more scared in my life to walk down a sidewalk.

Traffic was an adventure everyday. You know that stressed feeling you get driving on the freeway in rush hour traffic? We got that walking down the street. People swerving and honking all over the place! Plus, when motorcycles can't get around cars, they just drive down the sidewalk. And they'll beep at you like they own that sidewalk. Which, when we first got there, we thought they did. But after a while, you get calloused like the locals. By day 2, when someone beeped at us we were throwing our arms in the air and shouting like we were Neopolitan. And we thought we were. We owned that city, and everyone was in our way, not vice versa. It's pretty much the only way to survive.

Randy found the equivalent of an Italian Taco Stand. They're everywhere and they sell these mini pizzas for €1. They're ok...just like pizza with no cheese....so like dough and sauce. For me, it was enough to sustain life. For Randy, it was love at first sight. But they were only in Napoli, so he's been crying about it ever since we left. It's quite pathetic really...

The shops were full of people, and the haggling was impressive. There was even a whole alley devoted to figurines. They sell them year-round and they get especially busy around Christmas. People buy nativities and then come to the figurine shops every year to add to them. It's a great tradition, and I almost bought one just so that I'd be forced to come back every year, but I resisted =)

We stayed at 2 different hostels, the first one was crazy, expensive, and sucky. The second one was amazing! It was a monastery converted into a hostel. The people were very chill, and I was really sad that we only stayed one night. But alas, after 3 days there, we discovered that 90% of the city smoked (including children under 12), and the large quantities of cars and traffic produced an equal amount of exhaust. Which meant that my body was recieving much less oxygen than it was used to. So the stress, mixed with the lack of sleep, topped off with polluted lungs, was leaving us quite tired and slightly sick. So we were ready to move onto small town Pisa, located in the open fields of Tuscany.

Aside from the large amounts of traffic and pollution, Napoli has been my favorite. Tune in next time for Christmas in Pisa!

Italy Episode 1: Rome

2009-12-19T13:55:00.000-08:00

Alright kids. The series you've been waiting for: Italy. It begins!

It all started off quite well. I had everything packed (I thought), and had a ride all arranged to the airport (thanks to Larena and her amazing last minute good-heartedness). I had a layover in Detroit and stopped for lunch with a good friend. I had 3 hours so I thought all would be sufficient and I'd have time to get back and on the plane, especially since I only had a carry-on.

However, as I returned back to the airport, they told me it was far too late to check in and I couldn't actually go to Italy. Of course I freaked, and then the lady said that as long as I wasn't checking any luggage I could still get on the plane. So she handed me my boarding pass and I ran to security, which thankfully had no line. As I was about to walk past the security guy I was tackled by some small asian lady demanding that my bag was too big to take on the plane. How is that possible when I clearly got it from Salt Lake to Detroit without ever having to check it!? Apparently someone in Salt Lake had lost their mind.

So Asian Lady rushes me back to the check-in line where she tells the other lady (we'll call her unhappy lady) that I need to check my bag. Unhappy lady doesn't even look up my flight, just looks at me and tells me it's impossible. I can't go to Italy. What do these people have against me going to Italy? The she looks at the lady next to her as if to get confirmation that I'm an idiot for even thinking it was possible to take my bag on the plane. Lady #3 is petrified by the fact that Unhappy Lady will eat her if she doesn't concur, so she, of course, agrees and looks at me like I'm dumb. Great.

However, just at the moment I thought I was doomed to be stuck in Detroit with some extremely unhappy individuals who think I'm an idiot, a large black woman comes shoving through from the back. She starts yelling about calling people, and rushing my bag to the plane and makes it known that Unhappy Lady is incompetent at her job. I like Big Black Lady :) In the midst of her screaming she stops, looks at me and says "Sweetie, go get on you're plane, I'll take care of your bag." Yes ma'am! So I book it to the plane and just make it as they're threatening to take my luggage off the plane (Ha! It wasn't even on there!).

It was eventful. A simlar event happened in Amsterdam, almost making me miss my flight to Rome. I still had no idea if my bag was on the plane or not. I love adventures :)

But, I made it to Rome, my bag made it to Rome, I found a train and made it to the hostel where I was reunited with Randy. He showered, I took a nap, and we went for a walk. A 6 hour walk. The best thing about Rome is getting lost. The city is so crammed together, and so full of amazing famous things that you're bound to stumble upon something old and cool. We had no idea where we were for 6 hours, and it didn't matter! We just kept walking and magically we were next to the Trevi Fountain, then we were at the Colosseum, then the Spanish Steps, and then we trekked up this amazingly long, steep hill until we saw the most beautiful view of the city! It was gorgeous. All lit up, and you could see St. Peter's Basillica....it was amazing. It made the crazy hill completely worth it.

We of course went and saw all the sights, the Colosseum, Roman Forum, amazing cathedrals. We walked along the river, found some great markets, beautifully lit alleyways with the neatest little shops ever. The people in the hostels were amazing. We made lots of new friends, played Presidents and Scum, and experimented with fun italian desserts.

Rome was amazing, and kind of feels a bit like home to us. We rode through it on the train on our way up to Pisa the other day, and it felt so nostalgic. I will forever love Rome.

Next installment: Napoli!

OK!!!

2009-11-07T13:39:00.000-08:00

I suck. At blogging. Ha! So since my last post was in July, I think I need to bring ya'll up to speed just a touch.

As most of you know, I've started working full-time at my chiropractic office, while going to work. I'm also doing extra massages in all of my spare time, which leaves....not a whole lot. I go back and forth between moments of "BAH!!! This is INSANITY!!!!" and "This is awesome! I'm like a real live adult!" It keeps me balanced :)

But the main thing I've noticed in these last few months, is how acutely aware of each of us God really is. He gets me. More than I get me. This huge span of time has brought a whole slew of life changes for me, and I'm amazed at how exactly they were catered to my personal growth.

Most of my friends are married and the others are on their way to be. Included in this crowd is my best friend from the mission, Sharon Tidwell. It all happened so fast that I didn't even really have time to notice the change happening....just...Whamo! There it was. This summer she took a job as a counselour for EFY, an LDS summer camp. Which meant that she'd be working all day everyday for 3 months straight. As she left for this expedition the Lord oh-so-subtly scooted 2 very key people into my life- Randy Lasson, and Jared Snow (previously mentioned in my Memorial Day post). Since I've always been one of the guys I fit perfectly into their little duo, and enough fun was had to fill the BFF void.

When Sharon came back from her 3 month jaunt, she was engaged. There was a little more notice than that...but not much. :) If she didn't marry the guy, I would've wondered if something was wrong with her. Seriously wrong. He's a perfect fit for her, and I'm excited for them.

Realistically, when I look back at this summer that's all I'll remember. God working again to perfectly orchestrate people in and out of my life. I'm so grateful. So in honor of the good times of the summer, here's a Jared, Randy and Sarah moment from Halloween

P.S.
Did I mention I'm going to Italy for Christmas? :)

Ode to Jenny

2009-07-25T11:32:00.000-07:00

So for those of you who noticed a few days ago on my facebook, my car was stolen last monday. It's been a really interesting experience, because I really actually....don't care. It's very strange, and I think it has something to do with all of my friends. I honestly have the most amazing friends in the history of the world. I'm so fortunate to have them. Let me give you some examples!

The morning it happened Sharon came straight to my house to comfort me (even though I was ok), and then picked me up on her lunch break so that I could use her car for the rest of the day. She's also offered me her car while she's at EFY for the next 3 weeks.

My roommate Susie has borrowed her parent's car for the weekend, and let me use hers until Sharon goes to EFY, and she wrote a poem about it. She's pretty good at poems.

I told my friend Randy and his first concern was that my massage table was in my car, which it was. My massage table is second only to my hands in terms of importance for my job. The car I don't really care about that much. My table....was really sad. So Randy called up all of my friends (that he knew) and started a fund to help me get a new table.

Before my mission I sold my scooter to one of my bosses, Dr. Vance. When he found out about my car, he offered me to use the scooter, or to help me find a new car.

My other boss, Dr. Adams, happened to have a massage table that someone asked him to sell in his garage that hasn't been used, and said he'd let me use it, and if I wanted to buy it, I could get a really good deal for it.

Not to mention all the phone calls, and people sending their regards to the late and great Jenny. It's been a really great experience for me. Which is amazing, because it should be something so devastating and difficult to deal with. The Lord has blessed me with such great people in my life, that it always makes big things seem so small and insignificant. It's also friends like this that will bind together stronger during these hard times. This experience has changed my persepective so much, and I owe it all to Jenny. Here's to you, wherever you are!

Here's some of the sweet stuff my friends did

We all went out to breakfast and and the money was presented with this beautifully handmade card.

This has become the current creative goodness on our whiteboard

Seattle

2009-06-22T20:25:00.001-07:00

This past weekend I had the opportunity to go to Seattle to see a young woman I taught on my mission and her husband be sealed in the temple. It was defintely a weekend to remember!

Thursday morning we (Aubree Healey and I) left early, and braved the 14 hr drive up with my friend Darrin and his wife Anna (Darrin happens to be a brother to the groom), and had them drop us off in at our hotel that night.

Friday, we woke up early, rented a car, and went to see the city.

The funny thing about Aubree is that while we were mission companions we discovered that God put the same brain in two bodies. We're constantly thinking the same thing at the same time, and saying the same phrases. It's amazing, and made for cruising around Downtown Seattle, very exciting. I even had my first oyster shooter. Something I care to never do again.

We also found out that Rent was on tour with 2 original cast members (Roger and Mark, in case you cared), so we of course had to go see it! However, we both managed to forget our cameras during that portion of the evening. One time when having the same brain doesn't come in handy.

Saturday was the big day for Leslie and Devin. We went early and spent some time in the temple on our own before the actual wedding. The whole experience was the most rewarding, spiritual experience I've ever had. They love each other so much, and now they're able to have a family that will last for eternity. It was a really special moment, that can't be compared with anything I've ever felt.

That night we went up with the family and partied it up at the reception. We had an early flight and my friend Rachel was taking us to the airport on Sunday, so we left early, and met up with her. Spent the whole night chatting, got very little sleep, and then flew back for Salt Lake at 7am. And I even saw Mt. Ranier peeking out of the clouds while I was on the plane. It was the perfect end to a fabulous trip! :)

But it's Hard!

2009-06-11T08:57:00.000-07:00

So this year started off just like any other- with a whole slew of resolutions I never really intended to keep. Of course there was the standard lose a million pounds, eat healthier, keep my room clean, read my scriptures everyday blah blah, but among a few others I also wanted to reteach myself the piano. As time went on I of course I just acted like I never made them, and continued on with my old habits. Until...

I went to the LDS Church's support group for black members (It's kind of like a mormon-baptist conglomeration and I'm a huge fan of clapping and dancing while belting out "Just a Closer Walk with Thee." So I go.), and the speaker there was an LDS inspirational comedian by the name of John Bytheway (That is his real last name). His whole talk was about gardening, and he correlated it with our lives. In the talk he said something that's stuck with me. He said "Weeds grow all on their own, they don't need any assistance. But to have a beautiful garden we have to work hard to cultivate the plants we want to be there." He related that to habits that we have. Bad habits exist all on their own. We don't need help wanting more chocolate, sleeping in, or wanting to be lazy. We don't have to work at those. But what we do have to work at is the opposite: being active and productive throughout each day.

So I left the evening having gleened some new info. I thought about that a lot, and decided on the habits that I wanted to cultivate, and the ones that I wanted to weed out. It pretty much seemed like it had come back to my New Year's resolutions. Oh good. I made out my list (only mentally) and then left it alone. Until....

Memorial Day weekend when I went to Bear Lake. I spent a lot of time in the back seat with my friend Randy. We weren't really friends prior to that, but when you're crammed in the backseat together for a while, it just kind of happens. Anyway! On our way home Randy somehow came in contact with a piece of gum, and was chewing it. So in our silence I asked a question

Me: Randy, what's you're biggest pet peeve?
Randy: People who quit things because "it's hard," Yours?
Me: People chewing gum.
Randy: I hate you.

While my purpose of the conversation was to tell Randy that gum chewing drove me insane I afterward realized what he said. His pet peeve was people who quit things because they're hard. I quit all kinds of things because they're hard! Heck, that's why I don't do new years resolutions. I make them because I feel obligated, but I never intend to follow through! That would require change....and effort! Heaven forbid!

So I stewed on that for a couple of weeks, and then in one of my pondering states the thought of "it's too hard" collided with "weeding out bad habits" and WHAMO! A light bulb went on. I decided to make a change.

I've started running. I am a self-professed anti-runner. I've considered making a facebook group about it. Not really. But you get the point. I decided, why not do something you hate? Especially if it's good for you. I can only grow from it. So I went and bought a fabulous pair of running shoes, as well as some shorts. And I love it. I've also started to play the piano. My fingers kill me during the whole process, and all songs are half the speed that they're supposed to be played at, but I can do both hands together!

I've never felt better in my life. The victory of overcoming fears, and bad attitudes is the biggest adrenaline rush of my life! So to all those who hate something so much, but know that you need to do it: Do it! One of the Presidents of the church used to have a poster on his wall that said DOn't quIT. Lots of things in life are hard, and most of 'em you just have to hit head on, and never give up. Even if it's too hard.

Memorial Day Weekend

2009-05-26T08:52:00.000-07:00

My first long weekend in almost 2 years! I was so excited, and it was fun packed! Starting with Friday, my friend Brian had a birthday party for Bob Dylan. It was quite exciting. I actually got to be the Bob Dylan Proxy, those pictures were taken on someone else's camera, so one day I'll have the picture of me wearing the wig.

Saturday my friend Jared (he's more of an aquaintance really) had a birthday party which I went to. It turned out to be about 6 people: 3 guys, 3 girls. Aside from me, everyone there grew up together and apparently the guys used to duct tape people when they got bored...so they decided to try it again.

Jared, Mike and Randy are a bit like the 3 guys from the Princess Bride to be honest. Randy is the ring leader. He's always making up these schemes that really have no rhyme or reason to them, but it seems to be what keeps him going, so he does it. Mike is like the giant. He's Randy's secret weapon, and once he's got his hands on you, resistance is futile. Jared on the other hand, is just kind of there. He's not really into what they're doing, but he goes along with it anyway, mostly just because Randy's so convincing. They're entertaining to watch.

Anyway, they started with Laurel. Sharon and I made good efforts to combat them with lots of kicking and flailing, but in the end they won out and ended up getting us too. They were so kind to document the occasion with my camera. Look how proud Randy is.

The good news is while they were getting my ankles, I was trying to step out of the tape, and accidentally kneed Randy in the nose. Booya.

Then Sunday, one of my friends from the mission came in from Georgia, and after church she came with a bunch of us up to Sharon's cabin in Bear Lake. It was very laid back and a needed break for me. The weather wasn't very good so we didn't get to go out on the lake, but we rode the 4 wheelers and dirt bikes a lot, and even got caught in a hail storm while riding down the hillside. It hurt. Those pictures were also on someone else's camera. Soon to be posted. All in all, it was a great weekend. Sad to see it go, but life is for fun right? You have to make the fun all week long.

Mystery of the Week

2009-05-19T16:42:00.000-07:00

So in case you're not in the know, I work in a Chiropractic office for 2 doctors. Both of which are pretty crazy...in a good way. In fact I should probably start posting some of the funny things they do...

Anyway, other than the Dr's there are 4 of us girls in the office. So today, Dr. Vance asked us all what size shirt and shoes we wear. Weird. I've never had my boss ask me that. Ever. So Ashley, Kellie, and myself started to speculate what it could possibly be, we came up with 3 options:

Option 1: Office Unity- Our semi-annual Patient Appreciation Day is coming up, which is pretty much a big deal in our office. Instead of scrubs, we wear normal people clothes. Which usually wouldn't be a problem, but some of the employees might happen to wear something immodest...so they've purchased shirts. And on the off chance we may inappropriately expose our toes they've purchased us shoes? Yeah, we're thrown off by the shoes too.

Option 2: Baseball- Both are pretty big sports buffs, and they've sponsored baseball teams in the past. Plus them and their chiropractic buddies are constantly throwing their unsuspecting staff into doing things they're not good at. Plus you need special shoes and shirts. I just don't wanna end up looking like that guy.

Option 3: Bowling- Let's be honest, this is the one I'm praying for. Regardless of the fact that I can score a perfect 10 with the bumpers in, I love to bowl. It makes me laugh. Plus, this sport definitely has the coolest uniforms.

In a couple weeks, when the fun of keeping a secret wears off for these overgrown 5 year olds, I'll let you know what the real reason was, and maybe even submit some pictures!

Chicken Ice Cream

2009-05-14T12:09:00.000-07:00

So my friend posted this on Facebook and I found it equal parts funny and disgusting. So I thought I'd share it with you! :)

Mmmm Mmmmm Hot dogs!

Gulpin' Away The Cash

2009-04-27T11:55:00.000-07:00

So today, I went to go put gas in my car, and ended up locking my keys in my car. I tried the 'ol clothes hanger trick, failed. Then a random drunk man attempted to help me out. He even ran over to the police station next door to see if they'd help. No luck. So we went inside, he bought a 40 oz, and I called a million places for quotes. One guy told me $65, and after I told him that I found a place that would do it for $35, he said he'd do it for $32.50. Really? You just cut your price in half? Sure!

So...I ended up spending 2 hours at this gas station waiting for the locksmith man. And I couldn't help but notice that everyone that came in got fountain soda. I didn't realize it was that popular. Then I started to think about all of the money that that could add up to. If you came in every day and got yourself a big gulp at $1.29 a cup, multiply that by 5 working days a week, 52 weeks a year, and you're spending $335.40 a year! That's more than I pay for rent. Crazy huh? And think of the calories, sugar, and aspertame that go with that... :

Surprise!

2009-04-21T21:21:00.000-07:00

So recently my bangs have gotten completely out of control. You know, when they're so long that they're not tuckable behind the ear, but still in your face. It's even worse when you have glasses because then you get these little winging things off of the frame. Totally unattractive. So I decided to go see my hairstylist Tyler. Who is amazing. And straight (I know you were wondering).

So I go, and he sees me gets excited cause I haven't been in in 3 months, gives me a hug, and brings me over to the sink. So we're washing and talking, I get the fabulous neck massage (the reason I tip him so well), and he asks what I want to do. So I point out the most apparent hair faux pas happening toward the frontal region of my head, he stares, and then I say, "Well I don't really care, just not too short." Then he says "Ok.....can I have fun?" "Of course!" He's Tyler, the god of all hair art, him having fun, equals complete fabulousity on my head. So we're talking and next thing I know, he's in the zone. Can't hear a word I'm saying, and my hair continues to get shorter, and shorter....but at the same time more and more amazing. It was impressive. I was surprised at how short he took it, but let's be honest...I'm in love. With my hair...and maybe Tyler because of his ability to make me look so darn good. Here are the pictures:

2009-03-31T16:02:00.000-07:00

So a few weekends ago a good friend from the mission, Elder David Wyder, gave his homecoming talk in Cypress, CA, right next to Anaheim. It was also conveniently the weekend right before my birthday, so we combined the two reasons and decided to roadtrip down to play on the beach.... and to see him speak of course. But most importantly to go to the beach. Here are a few pictures, with obnoxious commentary. Enjoy.

Meet the gang:

Sharon with the aviators, me and bug guts, and Julie and Lacey. It was quite possibly the best roadtrip crew I've ever had. Sharon provided the amazingly-spacious-gas-efficient Santa Fe, Julie's always got some kind of connection, and Lacey our own personal photographer.

Julie gave us our Vegas hook-up. Not only did she help us stay in the Mariott for the Associate rate, but her friend worked at some fancy club in Vegas. We showed up, dropped a name and we were in. It rocked.

Some of our great stops included the "World-Famous" Alien Fresh Jerky, in the town of Baker California. We weren't sure if the Jerky was fresh from the Aliens, or if it was actually Alien. After realizing the deliciousness of the free samples, we thought it better not to ask.

Downtown Disney, which, compared to actual Disney, is not quite as exciting, but free. It also included the Lego Store (also, not qutie as cool as LegoLand, but free),

which as you can see, had a ginormous giraffe constructed entirely of Legos. Inspirational really.

Julie had her fortune told by an alien, which actually yelled at you if you walked past it and didn't put money into it. We bought into the scam. The fortune was lame, but entertaining

nevertheless.

Also had the pleasure of dining at Bubba Gump Shrimp, where the food is not quite so tasty, and hugely over-priced. But the staff and large amounts of random paraphenalia are enough to

distract you.

And after all fun was had, we made it to the beach. Chilly, but oh-so worth it.

After another disgustingly cheap stay at the Marriot, and delicious homemade crossaints, we arrived at the homecoming, had dinner with the fam, and then braved the 10 hr drive straight throught the night. Which lead to my first, and possibly last experience with a Rockstar. And we rounded the whole thing out with a little 2am birthday bash for my big 2-3.

I'm Not Crazy After All

2009-03-08T20:45:00.000-07:00

So when I left for my mission I left all my stuff with my friends in Utah because I knew I'd be coming back here. So when I got back it was nice to discover that I had a lot of things that were mine. It was kind of an exciting feeling...like buying all new stuff, without spending any money. I highly recommend trying it. Kind of like one of those things...you know...what are those called? Time capsule! Yeah, just stuff it full of old crap you don't need, but like to have around, leave it with a trusted person for a couple years, then go get it, and experience the magic!

Anyway as I started retrieving things from the 2 places I left them (Julie's and Jeff's), I was getting quite excited for one particular box. The one with all my movies and books. My life. Considering I only buy movies I absolutely love, and I hadn't read most of the books in my collection, I was pretty excited to embark on the journey of actually putting my money to good use. But, after getting all my stuff, the box was nowhere to be found. Julie claimed we had brought it to Jeff's, and Jeff simply denied it ever being in his basement. He seemed pretty convincing. Plus, I distinctly remembered putting them in Julie's storage unit, but they were MIA. I even looked through all the boxes myself when she wasn't home! (Sorry Juls, not that I didn't trust you...), And after that convincing evidence, I just figured I'd lost my mind, and manufactured this extremely vivid memory. Eventually I came to the sad truth that I'd never see it again.

So then, a few days ago, I get a message from Julie yelling, "I owe you an apology! I lied to you! Call me back!" Now, Julie's never lied to me in our entire friendship...and quite frankly it sounded big. Call me a bad friend, but if it were that bad, I probably would've skipped town. So I call her back to see what the big lie is all about, and she tells me that they had a minor flood in their basement and had to clean out an obscure corner where they found...you guessed it...My Box!!! She apoligized repeatedly, which wasn't neccessary because it's not lying if you don't even know it's there! This is where I take a second to brag about her amazing BFF-ness. She rocks! She apologized for unknowingly misleading me! Who does that? I mean, I'd say "Whoops, sorry about that" and then make like it never happened. She felt genuinely bad. Rock star, I tell ya. Ok, moving on. So then, this is the best part...I get to have happiness time capsule all over again! Two whole months later! And as the cherry on the sundae - I'm not crazy after all. :)

Round Shoes and a Ponytail

2009-02-21T17:24:00.000-08:00

HA! Sorry, can't start this story without laughing about it maybe a little bit. hehe. Alright, I'm composed. So, this weekend, my roommate's friend had a "People Who Don't Suck Party" which...as the name suggests is an event, that is held so people who don't suck, don't have to be around people who do suck. Sounds like a good plan right? I thought so too. I later learned that it's also useful tool for discovering that you, infact, do suck. :)

As much as we all love the internet, and beautiful things like Facebook, and how easy it is to send an e-vite, it doesn't always work well. I never actually recieved my invitation to the party, but was on the guest list anyway. Luckily, my roommate, Sarah, is in PR and is used to following up with people about things, so I recieved a verbal invite, a few short hours before. Realizing that Sarah was the only person that I'd know there, and she would know quite a few people, I tried to get some backup, hoping I could bring a small comfort group along with me and not feel so alone. However, short notice sucks, and only my friend Brian was able to come. Hooray for Brian! *NOTE: Brian is an important element in this story, hence the photo. It's also just a funny picture

I kind of knew the sort of people we'd be around, so I made sure to dress up a little bit with a sweater and nice pair of jeans, but I was hesitant to wear nice shoes, I like to dress up, but I always think it's fun, and more comfortable, to wear my Converse. However, I'd left them at Julie's house so the strappy black ones had to do. Finally, Brian arrived and we headed on our merry way around 8ish, and found ourselves thrown into a world neither of us had ever been. Everyone was dressed fashionably fabulous- and in season, the condo was something I would have imagined in NYC, complimented with an ambiance of mood lighting and music that somehow appealed to all, managing to be club-esque, with a hint of lounge - low enough for normal conversation, yet loud enough to simply listen if desired. There were a variety of sodas, of no recognizable brand, but with flavors comparable to IBC or Stewarts. We used real forks to eat our appetizers (which were, of course, posh) and some pretty impressive mini plastic plates. The only tackiness to be found was the Premium Selection brand popsicles brought by Brian and myself (Ok, he brought them, I mooched). I felt really ordinary, and self-consicous really quick.

Though I (just barely) looked the part, most of the time I felt like I couldn't say something unless it was adding substance and meaning to someone else's life, and considering most of what I say is useless and silly, I stayed pretty quiet. I had fallen to people watching, and occasionally commenting on someone else's conversation with Brian, finding quite a bit of comfort in the fact that I wasn't alone. Soon conversation had turned to what the guys liked in a girl, and to be honest, I wasn't really paying attention until quietly, almost to himself, Brian said "I like a girl with round shoes and a ponytail." Sarah and I were the only ones who caught it, and we looked at him with his little smile and laughed, because not only was it true, but a needed comfort. While I was there I felt simple, and common, and a started to feel the need to fit into that crowd. When Brian said that, I realized the simple confidence in his statement. I am a round shoes and a ponytail kind of girl. Yeah I like to get dressed up every now and then, but mostly, I'm pretty casual, and it's ok. In fact, not only do I like being that way, but I have friends who are like me, and think I'm pretty interesting. So interesting, that you're reading my blog!

Tender Mercies

2009-02-18T20:53:00.000-08:00

So tonight I went to Institute (kind of like Mormon college, but free...) and I'm taking a "Teaching of the Living Prophets" class where we study talks given by Apostles and Prophets in our day. This week we talked about "The Tender Mercies of the Lord" by David A. Bednar. In my opinion, one of the best talks ever given. Discussing this talk, this evening, was in itself, a tender mercy from the Lord.

Most of my life I've claimed that I don't believe in coincidences, and since I first made that statement, that fact has been proven to me over and over. "The tender mercies of the Lord are real and...they do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence." They come subtley, and without warning or knowledge, and if we're not careful, we miss them all together. So many times we think we're alone, without purpose or direction, and that no one is ever listening, but these tender mercies are a loving Father's way of showing that when the rest of the world has given up on us, He is there. He loves you, He's paying attention, He wants to help, and most importantly, He's the only one with the capability to help when no one else can.

Elder Bednar defines tender mercies as "very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts." All those words are great, but what do they actually look like? My tender mercies generally involve snow (especially in Georgia), letters, phone calls, a song on the radio, a package of tea and pastries, a breeze at just the right moment, the list goes on. Whatever they are, they're always chosen specifically for me at that specific moment. Today was not such a good day for me, and all I wanted to do by the end of the day, was go to Institute. Sister Healey (my faithful institute buddy) listened to me whine all the way up, the discussion we had was amazing, and I was living high my friends! As far as I was concerned, my evening was finished off perfectly. Until....Happy Hippos. For those of you who know me, I firmly believe that Happy Hippos are pretty much the best thing ever invented. They make me...well, happy! Suffice it to say. I love Healey for randomly having them in her car. You're a rockstar. :)

All You Need is Love

2009-02-15T15:54:00.001-08:00

So Saturday was Valentine's Day. Ya know, the day about love and relationships, where men buy large amounts of meaningless gifts that they really don't care about - just to make girls happy? Yeah, that one. In my almost 23 years of living, I've had a "valentine" once. The rest of the time I walked around and moaned and complained about being single. While the rest of my friends rode off into the sunset with Prince Charming, I sat at home watching my sappy chick-flick collection wondering how it was possible that Ewan McGregor choose the "beautiful courtesan" over me; when clearly I would have supported him for who he was: a broke, hopelessly bohemian writer.

This Valentine's Day, however, something changed. As the dreaded day approached, I encountered tons of ill feelings about the holiday. Plenty of Facebook statuses counting down the days to ultimate misery, others who vocally expressed their distaste for the opposite sex, and more than enough comments about how it's a holiday made up by the greeting card companies. I found myself sucked in by the cynicism of everyone around me. I had become a royal V-Day Scrooge, about to be visited by the Ghost of Valentine's Present.

One of my mission companions had proposed a ladies night, and I was totally down with "sticking it to the man" by not having a man. To be honest, I was anticipating a repeat of previous V-Day evenings, only with more people involved. In bitterness I quietly reassured myself that I didn't need a guy to make me happy... and that I wasn't bitter.

When it was time for said party, I made sure to look as cute as possible, threw together my salad, and headed over to Healey's house. Upon arrival I was greeted warmly by 6 of my closest friends (all looking fabulous), and the place completely decked out in Valentine's Day decorations. We all ate dinner, had dessert, and then launched into games that made me laugh harder than I've done in a long time. There's something about hanging with the girls. Sisterhood is the best feeling in the world. No one gets you as a woman, like another woman... it sounds logical, but until you get it, you just don't get it.

Through the whole experience, I learned that Valentine's Day isn't so much about having a boyfriend (or girlfriend for my male readers), it's about one thing. Love. Sometimes we become culturally caught up in life, and define things that need not be defined. Who says you need to have a sweetheart to be happy on Valentine's Day? And who says you need to listen to that person? No one. Life is about living, it's about being happy. The world is going to turn the same no matter what our relationship status is, so we may as well find excuses to be happy instead of searching for reasons to be miserable. All we need is love, who cares if it comes from your best friend, your mom, or even your cat. At least you have it, and the least you can do is spread it.

It's All About Me.

2009-02-12T16:14:00.000-08:00

So. Welcome to my blog. :) Why am I starting one you may ask? I don't really know... Inspiration? Desperation? Desire to fit in and be one of the crowd? Perhaps all of the above. Who knows? Who cares? Nevertheless, it exists. And, you can keep up with my life because of it! Yay! You don't even need to talk to me. Just hop on this bad boy and you're good to go! It's like we've been BFF our whole lives. :)

Anyway. About me. This is me.

In all of my varying....ness. If you closely examine these photos, you can learn quite a bit about my personality actually. For Instance, I really like bananas. Just kidding.

For reals this time. I'm 23 year old massage therapist, originally from a small town in Michigan called Escanaba, which means I'm actually a hick. Those Jeff Foxworthy jokes: not just about the South my friend. While I embrace the country girl within, it's not what I most ascribe myself to. You'll find I'm quite sensitive, and my mom often says I was born out of my era. While I myself am a Latter-Day Saint (Mormon), I often adopt a very free-spirited, hippie-like perspective of the world. Which, in my opinion, is just the way our good friend Jesus wanted it. We're meant to love everyone, and try our hardest to improve the world in our realm of existence. He knew the end from the beginning, but instead of saying "Well, they're gonna kill me so I may as well not even try." He did everything He could to lift those around Him, and make the world a better place. Even if others disagreed with Him, or didn't accept His message. Love is the key. See what I mean? Jesus-lovin' hippie I am. :)

I'm the middle of 3 kids. My older sister, Kayela, is in the army and over the last few months has discovered a hidden love for computers. She was the first one of us to bless my mom with what she really wants out of life, grandchildren. My nephew, Spencer is quite possibly the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. I could squeeze him all day.

Seriously? Adorable? I know. That face almost convinced me to move to North Carolina just so I could play with him everyday. He's probably the happiest baby I've ever met too. In the two weeks that I was with him I think he was fussy once. It's a strange thing, having kids. Don't get me wrong, I think kids are cute 'n all, and I like to be around them, but when I'm done, I'm done. But there's something about this little guy, and it's not just because he's so stinking cute. It's because he's almost a part of me. I'm pretty sure this little guy and I were friends before this life, and I know he's been watching over us until now. He's completely transformed the entire family...heck, he could have his own blog. Suffice it to say, I love him. :) Now I'm crying.

That's the other thing about me. I cry. A lot. What can I say? It's a gift.

Moving on, my brother. Ah, my little brother, Alex. He's not really that little. In fact he's been beating me up since he could walk. Probably before. That just proves two things. He likes to horse-around, and I don't. That's his way of showing affection. He sees you, picks you up, throws you over his shoulder, and then goes to the kitchen for some food. He'll carry you around for a while until you stop screaming and flailing, and then he'll throw you on the couch and tickle you (he likes the screaming and flailing) until someone gets hurt, or you pee your pants. Whatever comes first. The only real defense has to come early on. As soon as he starts attacking, poke him in the belly-button. Not real hard, just make contact. For some reason, it freaks him out. No one knows why. He's a diesel mechanic, and he's really good at it. He taught me to put an alternator belt on my car while he was in Tennessee and I was in Utah. Impressive, I know. He also lost 6 inches of his left leg, and now has a prosthetic, which, as you can see, is quite cool. He's made an amazing recovery, and lives a completely normal life...except that he can take his leg off and pass it around the dinner table.

My parents are pretty awesome too. We've had our ups and downs, but a funny thing happens when you grow up, you learn to love and respect your parents. You learn that they really just raised you the best they knew how. Mine were divorced when I was 13, and I thought my life was over, but it really taught me how to overcome adversity. When things get hard, you keep going, because that's all you can do. Both of my parents are extremely independent, and therefore, have made sure all three of us are the same way, and we don't depend on anyone else for our needs. They're both simple, small-town individuals, who are comfortable with life, and being where they are. There's something to be said for being content in a small-town world. Growing up, I never questioned that I was loved. Both of them had different ways of showing that they loved me, my dad is very affectionate and hands on. He likes to give hugs, and whisker rubs (I hate that last one), while my mom loves to give meaningful, as well as useful gifts. We never wanted much, and we always had what we needed. Through the struggles we had together, and I had with each of them independently, I became the person I am today. I person that I think they can both be proud of.

Alright, so maybe that was actually all about my family, but they say you can't really know who you are unless you know where you come from, and I think the same can be said for knowing others. You can't understand me, unless you understand my family. Crazy as they are, I love them, and sometimes it is hard being far away, but there's something about that hippie inside that just can't stay in one place too long. :) So stay tuned, for the next edition! :)